freelancing is not easy. it's not always healthy, either. in the past two weeks, i've sent around 10 pitches. i thought these were some my best ideas. i was excited to interview people, research, and write. one got a rejection email, the rest were met with silence.
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that silence is maddening. that failure is crushing. it hurts to look around and see everyone doing great, except you. that's a byproduct of social media, i know. it doesn't make it any easier.
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i know no one cares about this thread, really. but i just need to vent. the weeks when freelancing goes well, i want more. i want to transition away from my job so that i can write more great stuff.
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the other weeks are a constant anxious wait. a never-ending refresh of the inbox, and a mini-heart attack when my Gmail app sends a notification for like a Wal-Mart ad. it makes me wonder if i should just quit. my mindset should not flip that easily, i know.
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i don't fully know what i'm trying to say. this isn't any editor's fault, and freelancing has always been this way. i'm just doing something very wrong, and have no idea what that is. it's eating me alive, every single second. i want to be good at this. but i'm just not.
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i'm not looking for pity. i just want to be open about this. i want others to know that they're not alone if they feel this way. i want people to be open with their feelings and experiences. take breaks if you need. bury your head in a book. find what works, because i haven't.
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you're great, you're doing great. Take a breath, take time if you need it, then keep at it. Your work is valuable, but also, you are valuable beyond your work. sending love. you can do it.
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