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  1. Pinned Tweet
    5 Nov 2021

    my dentist won’t stop texting me

    Undo
  2. Apr 27

    its crazy how your credit score can drop 24 points and the reason will just be like "your vibes are weird. sorryyyy :/"

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  3. Apr 24
    Undo
  4. Feb 10

    this is how people would text during the renaissance era

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  5. Feb 9
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  6. Feb 3

    man i am never buying a tv from wish again. what the fuck is “kevin”???

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  7. Feb 2

    when u ask the chef if he can put a little smiley face on your pancake

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  8. Feb 2

    realizing i have to do the dishes for a meal that took hours to cook but 3 minutes to eat

    Undo
  9. Feb 2

    carefully placing an “lol” at the end of every text so you don’t sound mad

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  10. Feb 2

    the groceries in my fridge watching me order food for the third time this week

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  11. Feb 2

    the olive garden staff coming out to tell me they saw me putting bread sticks in my pockets to take home

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  12. Feb 2

    this was my favorite trump tweet

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  13. Retweeted
    29 Mar 2018

    fellas take notes this is how you properly slide into dms

    Show this thread
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  14. Feb 1

    airdropping this to everyone else waiting in the emergency room

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  15. Feb 1

    “im fighting demons rn” bro you literally just have to replace your brita filter

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  16. Jan 31

    it’s so weird when you see a car that looks angry. what do you even have to be mad about???

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  17. Jan 31

    trying to find my purpose – At Chuck E. Cheese

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  18. Jan 29

    listen. im gonna be honest. i hope everyone has a nice weekend. and if you don’t i might get upset but it’s fine. thanks guys

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  19. Jan 29

    need to smoke a blunt with him

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  20. Jan 28

    “can you explain this gap in ur resume” yeah i was just goin around bein a lil guy

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  21. Jan 28

    tiktok is crazy bc a 16 yr old who’s failing science will convince me that bouncing my leg is a sign that im neurodivergent, have ADHD, and possibly gay

    Undo

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