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  1. Pinned Tweet

    Now I insist on not being verified.

  2. I was discomforted by the many pro Trump people who responded negatively to my tweets about Donald being ill equpped to be our President

  3. VEGAN PIZZA PLACE: Chalk E. Cheese.

  4. Sitting next to a young hipster couple and the woman just angrily relented to take UCB classes at her dude's insistence.

  5. Blow Man's Fart Way to take endless space exploration and turn it into mind-numbing rock shooting. WHERE WAS THE ZINC? Never left 1st planet

  6. Damn just CRUSHED it at

  7. I was watching old clips of Darryl Strawberry hitting home runs, and it struck me: this is what people see when they watch me eat.

  8. From now on, everything I do is premium quality.

  9. The thought of waking up just long enough to realize Lorne Michaels is strangling you to death must be scary. Good luck.

  10. Nope! Not helpful.

  11. FUN FACT did you know that the nicknames Reba and Becca are BOTH short for Rebababecca?

  12. 21 influential stand-up comedians tell us the story behind their favorite joke.

  13. Chinese candy magnate Charleston Chow!!!

  14. Andrés du Bouchet followed , , and 19 others
  15. Ah turds. I guess I'll be funny tomorrow?

  16. NOTHING! DAMMIT!

  17. The only drawback to listening to the & Show on the car ride to work is getting the theme song stuck in my head.

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