Egg Centurion

@dreamyweather

infrequent Jamba Juice enjoyer

Olympia
Vrijeme pridruživanja: travanj 2010.

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  1. 28. sij

    Some young journalist is getting their first break with a story about Edible Arrangements being front for a global drug and prostitution ring. And honestly, I think I deserve at least a little credit for accidentally getting the details right for a random twitter joke.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    25. sij

    ages 14-25: i would like to listen to more bands ages 26-??: i have listened to enough bands, now i would like power

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    20. sij

    In a nearly unimaginably brave and moving act of solidarity, 16 people in North Carolina Central Prison are beginning a hunger strike today to protest conditions and heinous torture of the prisoners within the mental health unit (Unit One)  1/

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  4. 20. sij

    Sounds convenient and fun to find a $100 bill on the ground. Think I'm going to try it.

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  5. 19. sij

    A friend was holding another friend's baby for the first time and said "He's heavier than I expected!" And y'all KNOW I had to compare that baby to a small, surprisingly dense metal geometric solid.

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  6. 17. sij

    Employees can have a little use of the big handicapped bathroom stall, as a treat.

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  7. 16. sij

    Seems convenient and fun to be a small cube of tungsten. Think I'm gonna try it.

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  8. 12. sij

    Dreamed I fellslowly through a deep snowdrift

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  9. 10. sij

    Discovering that the music stops playing if you turn on the camera while trying to take a video of myself dancing to Get Lucky in my room on New Years Eve:

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    if you know you know 🤷

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  11. 10. sij

    Say it with me now:

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  12. 9. sij

    Seems really convenient and fun to get a bunch of followers from posting nudes. Think I'm gonna try it.

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  13. 28. pro 2019.

    Living in fear of the day that I try to ask Alexa a question and accidentally call her "Mom"

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  14. 24. pro 2019.

    Praying so hard that my mom got me a drum set for Christmas and is bringing it with her on the flight from California

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. pro 2019.

    A group of Stingrays is called a fever (Photo: Sandra Critelli )

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  16. 18. pro 2019.

    Where are the silly post rationalist twitterers? All my fave jokesters fall squarely in the far left/downwingers category. Nothing wrong with that, but it seems like there should be a weird Twitter equivalent for the other left/upwingers

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  17. 18. pro 2019.

    *rubs glittery holiday card all over face*

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. stu 2019.

    "toxic masculinity" ❌subtly implies masculinity is toxic ❌encourages fear, hatred, shaming ❌divisive: little "toxic femininity" "traumatized masculinity" ✅recognizes trauma as cause, not just effect ✅encourages compassion, grief, healing ✅unifying: we are all traumatized

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    (very easily finds a way to ethically consume under capitalism) oh sick

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  20. 5. pro 2019.

    I noticed I have a subtle feeling that I'm cheating if I use a thesaurus while writing/editing poems. Do other people feel this way?

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