Beck @ Overwatch

He told them we got caught up talking about some anime. He gave me a little side hug, said thank you for a good time, and walked off. I waited until he was completely gone to disclose to my friends what had just taken place. I had to take a pregnancy test that week.

Let's skip to my ex now. Our first date, he stuck his hand in my shirt as we were driving. We went to a con together and he coerced me into having sex. Again, he had me convinced he would leave me if I didn't. The condom broke. Another pregnancy test.

We went to a new years eve party at a friend's house. I was blackout drunk. I don't remember most of the night. I remember it took him and another friend to help me to the guest room to go to sleep. I woke up naked and saw a condom wrapper on the floor.

Let's skip to the guy I dated after him. He initially said he didn't want a relationship but he did like me. He got drunk one night and asked me out. We dated for about 3 months. I was in love with him. I felt comfortable having sex with him.

He didn't give me the vibe he would leave if I didn't have sex with him. But I did anyway because I really liked him and I had been conditioned that having sex was the only way to keep my partner. He dumped me after not speaking to me for over a week.

He dumped me the same week my dad left, my close friend was diagnosed with HIV, and I failed a very important final exam in college that would determine if I could continue in the pre-med program. Cue s*icide attempt number 3.

I have been m*lested. I have been r*ped 3 times. I've been manipulated into having sex more times than I can count.

Now why does all this matter? It matters because these are things that have drastically effected my stance on sex. I have PTSD from it. I have anxiety about it. I confessed to someone I liked them and they wouldn't date me because I'm asexual.