Beck @ Overwatch

I can't believe I get to finally see my boyfriend in person in 5 days

Goodbye migraines and joint pain. My mom is getting her pain meds filled today (since I have yet to see my new doctor to get my own)

Don't come for me but I'm gonna learn the Lucky Star dance and eventually get the BNHA cheerleading uniform and do a dance cover with Toga or once I get the wig Ochaco.

Anyone wanna cashapp, paypal, or venmo me like 5 bucks so I can get a snack while I wait at the hospital on my mom to get her post op checks done?

I was sober for so long and then I got fucking assaulted twice in 2 years and it made me go back. And now I can barely function without some sort of opioid or narcotic in my system.

Like I really hate myself for falling back into my old habits. I never should have picked pills up in the first place but stupid me I didn't know addictive tendencies ran in my family since my dad's whole family consists of alcoholics.

I feel like Twitter is the only safe place I can talk about my addiction because no one really follows me here. My Instagram has a lot of old friends on it and some coworkers. Same with Facebook.

One of my best friends @chwafl is moving to Korea today and while I'm excited for her opportunities there and happy she's pursuing something dear to her, I'm going to miss her like crazy. Here's to you, Cherry. Love, your dance mom/photographer

I'm going to be talking to my shrink about some new symptoms I've noticed in myself. And hopefully I'll get back in with my therapist soon so I can talk about my substance abuse in confidence. Cause I'm sure if I tell my shrink about it he won't give me my anxiety meds anymore.

Tldr: I'm asexual because of abuse and manipulation. My biggest fear is having sex with someone and then they just leave.

I'm relieved that I'm now with someone who is accepting of the fact that I'm asexual and not always comfortable with sex or any sort of sexual contact aside from kissing. We have open discussions on what I'm comfortable with and not comfortable with.

I wasn't able to explain that if I'm comfortable with the person and I'm sure they won't just leave after getting some a few times, im open to having sex. Do I seek sex out? No. Do I want it? Not really. Do I enjoy it? Not really.

Now why does all this matter? It matters because these are things that have drastically effected my stance on sex. I have PTSD from it. I have anxiety about it. I confessed to someone I liked them and they wouldn't date me because I'm asexual.

I have been m*lested. I have been r*ped 3 times. I've been manipulated into having sex more times than I can count.