the hardest part about teaching writing to first-gen students of color: they discuss & write on racism & trauma experienced in the education system, & I have to uplift them & try to mediate these traumas, all the while trying to not get emotional from seeing myself in them.
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I started crying reading papers. It was hard cause I want to protect them from these further acts of racism & trauma against them, but I know all too well it will come again. They will be told they aren’t smart enough, as disciplined enough, as capable, by my colleagues.
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I am open with students of how I have been where they are. That I have walked in their shoes. So they know they aren’t so alone. But I forget how taxing this is: of affirmation, of mediating their traumas, of trying to prepare them for people who don’t practice my pedagogy.
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this is all to say this labor of teaching, of being with students who are like you, in openly racist & elitist educational systems, is an act of care, love, & also exhaustion. One that I often have to handle without acknowledgment, from peers & students.
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encountered FAR too much pedagogy by well meaning white instructors teaching predom students of color as if it’s all a formula, just some nice concepts & tools to apply & boom, success. but teaching writing is a labor of love, & one that has to account for their/our lives/pain.
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so I, as instructor, getting emotional in and out of class cause this labor is exhausting, am not supposed to talk of this because that doesn’t align with the business model most writing programs enact. I should be able to go in, teach how to write, & continue on.
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