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doitinprivate's profile
Andy Smith
Andy Smith
Andy Smith
@doitinprivate

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Andy Smith

@doitinprivate

Showbiz, CA
medium.com/@AndrewBryanSm…
Joined January 2011

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    1. Quinn Cummings‏Verified account @quinncy Nov 7

      Gather round, Gentle Readers. It is time I tell the story of the worst decision I ever made in an office. Some of you have heard this. Some have not. Whatever you do in your office today, this week, the rest of this year, you can console yourself by recalling this tale.

      1,268 replies 17,520 retweets 64,472 likes
      Show this thread
      Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 7
      Replying to @quinncy

      Hi, Ms. Cummings, I forget whether we met back in the day. At the time, I had the 2nd longest tenure as one of her assistants, at 9 months. If we're sharing stories around the campfire, I have a few, if you'll indulge a (THREAD)

      11:54 PM - 7 Nov 2018
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          1/ Story #1 I booked David Ogden Stiers for some Disney celebration in Florida. He lived in Oregon. He had an audition in L.A. right after. Disney offered travel both ways, but I needed them to okay a) OR to FL b) FL to L.A. 3) back to OR. So I asked the Disney guy --

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          2/ David's done three movies with you: B&B, Pocahontas, and Hunchback. So (like the other actors) he's entitled to a round trip for each, or six legs, with you. All I want is the three legs. He wants to do your thing, but he's got to be back in L.A. Guy says yes.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          3/ It helps to know, readers, that contracts can take a long time, but when time is tight, you have to rely on people's word. (pause for laughter) David does it, gets to L.A., goes back to OR, and everything's roses. Then I get an invoice for the plane tickets.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          4) Disney guy doesn't want to pay the difference on a three-leg trip. For me, at the time, the cost was astronomical, several hundred bucks. Dude, I say, we agreed on this. Guy tells me some sad story about the richest corporation on Earth and it's out of his hands.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          5) Guy, you're screwing me. Let's say -- for the sake of argument -- I can scrape the money together. Now there's a paper trail. I have no way to keep this from Susan. And I'm going to get fired. Over a few hundred bucks. That you can afford but I can't. So --

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          6) Before I get fired, I'm writing all this up. I'm faxing it to every office in that building in FL. Disney does not like *any* controversy. Not only will you get fired, it's so embarrassing you may never work for a public company again. ... He ponied up the dough. /end1

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        8. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          7) Story #2 Oh, Barnaby -- I knew that dog well. He had a terrible skin condition. Twice a week, I had to take him to the vet. Across town in SM. Which backed up my desk job like crazy. Barnaby gets injections, just under the skin. Doctor, I say --

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          8) Giving Barnaby a shot looks like something I can do. Can I pick up his meds on Mondays and do this myself? It's not a controlled substance, so he says yes. Early *early* the next Monday morning, I have to give Barnaby his shot. It's dark in the rest of the office.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        10. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          9) I'm unclear how Barnaby's going to take me sticking a needle in him. I box him on the floor between a couch and a table. Prep a syringe. Flick it with one finger, so there's no air inside. (Subcutaneous doesn't run that risk. I'm doing what I've seen in the movies.)

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        11. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          10) (I forgot to mention -- Trainspotting is a big hit at the time.) I'm in the dark, flicking a syringe, when another asst passes & sees me. ANDY! NO! DON'T DO IT! He leaps toward me. IT'S NOT THAT BAD HERE! NOTHING'S THAT BAD! JUST QUIT, MAN! DON'T TURN TO HEROIN! end2/

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        12. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          11) Story #3 After I did leave, eventually, my former #2 calls me. The new guy isn't working out. (Susan *hated* the hiring process. (She'd do *anything* to get it over with. (So she'd hire the first person who walked through the door.)

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        13. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          12) Guy was in Literary and he wanted to be in Talent. (Writers are not Talent, ladies and germs.) He lobbied hard for the gig. But he was slow -- and slow to learn -- and Talent ain't Lit. "He's killing me. What should I do?" I think for two seconds. "Feed him to Susan."

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        14. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          13) "What?" she says. "Feed him to Susan. "Let him screw up. Big. "'Cuz he will. "And we'll see whether he's cut out to be an assistant to Susan." ... ... Guy quit the whole agency the *next day* before *noon*. /end3

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        15. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          14) CODA I lasted so long, I think, for one reason. I'd seen Susan reduce *everyone* in the office to tears. Assistants, agents -- everyone. I wouldn't cry. I knew that's what she wanted. Cry and die, I used to say. Cry and she'll never look at you the same way again.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        16. Andy Smith‏ @doitinprivate Nov 8
          Replying to @doitinprivate @quinncy

          15) In the end -- like @StephenKing's The Stand -- I did *mind* the yelling, but I didn't *object*. That's the way it is sometimes. But she kept us in the office till midnight most nights. We couldn't meet with assistants at other agencies. And steal their clients. ;-) fin/

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        17. End of conversation

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