I challenge the narrative that transition had anything to do with me battling sexuality or womanhood bc in truth - my transition was influenced by direct relationships & ideology. I wanted to believe in a “just” cause and that my trans ex & friends’ pain was equivalent to mine
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My trans identity was primarily groomed by my ex and secondarily groomed by the leftists I followed online shifting their ideology from true acceptance to chronic cancel culture. After a while it got unfashionable to be a weird bisexual girl - you had to proclaim your pain more.
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Leftists are also the same people who (un)wittingly enable self harm, eating disorders, and other related mental illness issues by making those who experience them feel “valid”. Oh, it’s okay you forgot to eat lunch just make sure you eat dinner! (Doesn’t eat dinner.) Oh, it’s o-
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And so on and so on. Oh don’t cut yourself again, okay? *kisses scars* (cuts self again to be kissed again.) Oh, don’t wear your binder 10 hours again tomorrow or you might pass out again! (wears binder for 12 hours and can’t breathe well for hours afterwards)
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It gets you a lot of attention to be in your own fabricated pain. What doesn’t get you attention is doing the hard work to get better yourself. That shit doesn’t click well with teenagers though, and when all their peers are chronic enablers of pain, unless you conform to that-
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same level of pain, you get left out real quick. So, what was I saying about being a regular weird bisexual girl not being cool anymore? My friends stopped liking me because we liked the same animes or both liked girls - they stopped liking me by virtue of being “cis”.
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But I hated my chest. I hated my genitals. I hated my birth name. I hated being called “miss” and “young lady”. I hated a lot about my existence, and that’s not including what my trauma made me hate. And sure, I had mean thoughts about other girls. But I didn’t hate womanhood.
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But I really started to hate it when it became such a big deal. I never thought of my existence as particularly womanly nor did I care. I wasn’t as preoccupied with feminine things as my sister or popular girls at school but that legit never bothered me. It only started to bother
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me when being the “tomboy” I always was became politicized. The left’s acceptance of unnecessary pain has morphed in a sinister way. Instead of “don’t starve yourself sweetie”, your pain around your body was met with “have you ever tried binding? I could get you one and your -
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parents would never know! it’s helped me so much!” Hating my chest evolved from wearing layers to cover it to looking up top surgeons at age 16. I went from hating my voice because of anxiety to hating my voice because of some newly formed idea it was too “weak” and feminine
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