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Profil korisnika/ce diviacaroline
Divia Eden
Divia Eden
Divia Eden
@diviacaroline

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Divia Eden

@diviacaroline

Rationalist, unschooler, clicker training enthusiast, Dorothy Dunnett lover, married to @WilliamAEden. Hanging out with my kids and trying to figure stuff out.

San Francisco
becomingeden.com
Vrijeme pridruživanja: siječanj 2009.

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    1. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      59. Regular baby socks do not stay on. Long ones are a little better.

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 7 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    2. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      60. The canonical way to be initiated into “you are parenting wrong” is strangers telling you that your baby needs a hat.

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    3. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      61. I think parents should mostly relax about kids being cold and stop making them wear coats. Some little kids will rather be half naked and shivering than wear a coat...

      1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 22 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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    4. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      62. Kid interactions often have the same form as adult interactions, and the simplicity exposes the structure. Like how some kids will repeat the same few words on loop until someone repeats them back.

      1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 18 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    5. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
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      63. Beaches are one of the most reliable ways to keep kids entertained forking stretches.

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 6 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    6. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      64. Afaict, baby sleep wasn’t nearly as much of a “thing” for boomer parents as it is for today’s parents. Maybe because babies really do sleep longer on their stomachs?

      0 proslijeđenih tweetova 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    7. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      65. Lots of people like to say how with three kids, you move to some defense, but I think this is a weird take. Do most parenting hours happen with both parents there?

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 4 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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    8. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      66. Also, I think even when both are home, parents of little kids should switch off more than they usually do.

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    9. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      67. One of the most hilariously recognizable patterns is the one where the mom (or primary parent) is like “please watch the toddler” to the dad and then the dad responds to push notifications. But the kid keeps wandering over to the mom and she is still the one tracking.

      1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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    10. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      68. We hear a lot about “creepy” algorithmically generated videos, but to me the more interesting situation is that never in history has so much human creativity and intelligence gone into making exactly what kids want with a tight feedback loop. We should pay attention.

      1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 23 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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      Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
      • Prijavi Tweet

      69. Lots of people can’t understand what’s up with kids even when kids explain it pretty articulate because lots of people’s filters aggressively remove reasons that aren’t “reasonable”.

      16:24 - 17. pro 2019.
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      1 reply 9 proslijeđenih tweetova 58 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        2. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          70. One of my tell-tale signs of an unhappy co-parenting dynamic is a very high ratio of parents assigning childcare tasks to each other vs. noticing things they personally care about and doing those things.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 19 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        3. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          71. I reject “for healthy development, the dad should be like x and the mom should be like y” archetype stuff. I do assume they accurately describe trends. And I assume at most half of it is gendered independently of who is the primary vs secondary caregiver.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        4. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          72. I waffle between “cities are super underrated as places to raise kids” and “nah I’m just weird”.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 18 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        5. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          73. Occasionally I see really dramatic as-seen-in-books results from “techniques” like empathizing with kids or giving them choices, but it’s rare. It seems to be more common when the kid has a broad empathy or choice deficit.

          1 proslijeđeni tweet 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        6. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          74. Lots of kids intuitively describe their feelings as being located in their bodies. I assume at some point this is commonly socialized out, but I don’t have confident models of when or how.

          1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 17 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        7. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          75. Nature videos are a notable intersection of "no one would disapprove of you for letting your kid watch this” and “way too emotionally painful for lots of kids”.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 25 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        8. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          76. Healthcare as signaling that you care is a big thing. Band-aids are largely this, and they moderately offend my aesthetic. Doesn’t mean I refuse them if the kid is asking.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 12 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        9. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          77. When people want compliance and tweak their voice/body language until they get it, it’s very easy for them to fall into optimizing for scaring/shaming the kid even when that wasn’t the plan.

          1 proslijeđeni tweet 23 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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        10. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          78. Of course I don’t make my kids hug relatives, yet I’m low-key mad at the meme about this bc: -it makes it seem like this is important bc of sexual assault, which 🤷🏽‍♀️ -predictably gets vitriolic responses -is a tiny part of routine kid autonomy violation

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        11. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          79. Facebook ads for beautifully tasteful “screen-free” wooden electronic toys that maybe even teach programming have got to be peak *something* right!??!?! Or does it keep going from here...

          1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 14 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        12. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          80. Grocery shopping and running errands with your kids used to be very common stay-at-home-parent activities, but this seems to be less true every year, and I expect the trend to continue.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 8 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        13. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          81. Feels tricky to talk about gracefully, but online mom communities that aren’t conservative-leaning seemed to be trending more and more social-justice aligned. Inclusivity statements, library of readings to educate yourself with. Whole nine yards. I see pros and cons.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        14. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          82. Also filed under almost-too-obvious: Pretty pictures aren’t very good evidence about how happy people’s families are.

          1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        15. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          83. With kids who are having trouble, there seems to be a trajectory from “I don’t want to define my kid with labels”/frame this as a big deal to a savvier plan to collect as many as possible to get maximum access to potentially useful services for the kid.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 10 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        16. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          84. Parenting as life work can be pretty lonely in the sense that often literally no one is modeling what hard stuff you are doing and how it’s mattering. Especially since there’s this weird collective load-bearing narrative that minimizes the role of skill in parenting.

          1 proslijeđeni tweet 15 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        17. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 17. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          85. The standard economy of parenting advice is very about lived experience, not stuidies or abstractions. So if you haven’t been through x with your own kid yet you want to comment on it, the standard smooth move is to be vulnerable about how x was for you as a kid.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 8 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        18. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          86. Even people who don’t lie to kids often totally scramble their affect and reactions to things that happen when interfacing with kids. Kinda like how adults on shows for toddlers act. I doubt it’s a huge deal in small doses, but I intuitively mistrust it.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        19. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          87. In order to relate harmoniously, parents often pick an epistemically dubious justification for why it’s okay that different families prioritize radically different things. Stuff like: “Well, you know your kids best.”

          1 reply 1 proslijeđeni tweet 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        20. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          88. I did not expect nearly so many kids shows to be reboots of things I watched as a kid!!

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 4 korisnika označavaju da im se sviđa
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        21. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          89. Sometimes warnings or admonitions not to do things are basically experienced as hypnotic suggestions for the kid *to* do the thing :-(.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 7 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        22. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          90. Some parents rely heavily on the “we are connected and we all want the same thing” frame with kids, and I do think it’s warm and can truly reduce conflict. But then what about when everyone doesn’t want the same thing...

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 7 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        23. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          91. Most kids prefer more focused time where adults are present and really there for them than they get. Most adults prefer more of this too. It seems to be a scarce commodity overall.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        24. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          92. Taking care of sick kids while you yourself is sick is pretty miserable for a mundane thing that happens all the time and doesn’t mean anything is actually wrong.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        25. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          93. A different way of saying 90 is that with kids it’s often hard to simultaneously be clear about which things are negotiable and not to anchor on your BATNA.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        26. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          94. Modern American culture is pro being open about loving your kids and thinking they are the best ever, and I appreciate that—not all cultures are!

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 7 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        27. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          95. There is huge variation in how much parents play with their kids.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 6 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        28. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          96. Watching people parent gives a whole bunch of info even when I’ve talked to them about parenting for many, many hours. Many of the most important things people do with their kids are things they totally take for granted and would never think to mention.

          1 proslijeđeni tweet 13 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        29. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          97. One of the very best things about being a parent is it clearly isn’t a bullshit job. It’s so viscerally obvious that the kids matter, and that goes a long way.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 11 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        30. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          98. Parents die :-(, and people cut all external ties with parents, but even then it’s rarely possible to cut ties with the parents that live in our heads.

          1 reply 0 proslijeđenih tweetova 5 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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        31. Divia Eden‏ @diviacaroline 18. pro 2019.
          • Prijavi Tweet

          99. In a sane world, children would consult their parents early and often about their financial and romantic affairs. But this only works if the parents have a certain baseline understanding of the kid’s world.

          0 proslijeđenih tweetova 9 korisnika označava da im se sviđa
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