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Had to put down an employee for calling us out about taking advantage of him
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A property brother just walked into the castle holding a sledgehammer and a gun
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New ride that kills you
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Just made $600,000 off a family of four
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Purge night at the park tomorrow
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None of the rides are working. You can run around on the grass or climb shit. No worries though
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Mickey isn’t waking up
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It's A Small World is no longer stuck after 30 passengers endured more than 7 hours on the ride. New breed of humans are about to enter society
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A plane has crashed right into Piglet. RIP little guyhttps://twitter.com/chron/status/1521500579884851202 …
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Elon has purchased this account. Hey sexy bitches! Welcome to a new Disneyland experience. I’m like weed and memes
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There should be a Disneyland in Orlando, Florida
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Added a goblin
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Eating a churro and sending a selfie to my dentist. Not because he’s worried about my teeth but because he’s sleeping with my wife and I am tactically intimidating him through a vague series of non threatening texts
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Just had a guy killed for trying to unmask mickey
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You can’t get kidney stones from drinking the Pirates water. Not sure what else you want me to say
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Goofy has stolen around $16 worth of ceramics from Seth Rogen's homepic.twitter.com/FFfToIvF7G
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Don’t care + goofy is dead + never even liked him anyway + didn’t understand what he was + I’m not hurt by his passing + ratio
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Sorry. Just woke up from a coma. My boss tried to kill me
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We are renaming the park to “Mitchell”. We got a threat in the mail and we are afraid
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Will not be allowing anyone dressed as Mickey in. Hard enough to track him down as it is
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