Derek

@derekscruggs

You know those cheesy "WE BUY HOUSES!!!" ads? I'm that guy.

Denver, CO
djpayscash.com
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Joined October 2006
125 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 18 hours ago

    Winter is coming

    1 like
  2. May 31

    This quote by Putin

    2 likes
  3. Retweeted
    May 31

    Truth

    Replying to @RadioFreeTom
    Smart ppl tend to recognize their limitations in areas they haven't studied. Dumb ppl get courage from their ignorance.
    15 replies 60 retweets 273 likes
  4. Retweeted
    May 31

    Go out. Listen to the birds. Feed a duck. Not that one. Not that duck. I warned you about that duck. This is on you.

    1 reply 73 retweets 207 likes
  5. Retweeted
    May 30
    Replying to

    It's now been 15 minutes and the President still hasn't deleted this tweet. Follow us for continuing live covfefe

    197 replies 3,149 retweets 11,159 likes
  6. Retweeted
    May 28

    My response to a right-wing blogger who called me a kook and a loser for stating that Donald Trump is a liar / water is wet:

    992 replies 21,941 retweets 50,137 likes
  7. Retweeted
    May 27

    To be scientifically literate is to empower yourself to know when someone else is full of shit.

    1,754 replies 76,820 retweets 160,459 likes
  8. Retweeted
    May 27

    Offline Twitter.

    358 replies 31,538 retweets 92,599 likes
  9. May 27

    Hey when did John Fischer move to Mexico? 👍

    4 likes
  10. Retweeted
    May 25

    I just graduated from Deep State. Hate our rivals, Deep A&M

    42 replies 599 retweets 2,350 likes
  11. Retweeted
    May 26

    If Jared Kushner moves quickly he can hide out in Vampire Weekend

    16 replies 518 retweets 2,200 likes
  12. Retweeted
    May 13

    I'll sleep when I'm dead, and also at the next conceivable opportunity and each opportunity after that one.

    5 replies 254 retweets 621 likes
  13. May 24

    go go

  14. May 24

    Dang, the are 7-2 on this road trip, best record in the NL!

    2 likes
  15. Retweeted
    May 24

    This is stacking up as one of the best road trips in history. On the verge of going 7-2.

    4 replies 12 retweets 62 likes
  16. Retweeted
    May 23

    Me whenever my manager asks me what I'm doing

    Ok TO BE CLEAR, I am closer to the TRUTH than ever. Not only am I not stopping, I am working harder. Updates when available. Stay tuned!
    6 replies 113 retweets 317 likes
  17. Retweeted
    3 Apr 2016

    I'm not getting in a self-driving car until we can figure out how to prevent automatic toilets from flushing while you're still using 'em

    8 replies 134 retweets 387 likes
  18. Retweeted
    May 23

    30 Wins!

    31 replies 378 retweets 1,131 likes
  19. Retweeted
    May 18

    Hillary might have inspired my four-year-old daughter to be president one day but Trump has convinced her she could be president right now.

    29 replies 1,260 retweets 2,901 likes
  20. Retweeted
    4 Feb 2014

    It's because it's Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, sweetie. That's why. What Papa is doing right now is called an "autopsy". Stop crying.

    7 replies 550 retweets 1,194 likes

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