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  1. Pinned Tweet
    27 Jun 2018
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  2. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    Hello, I'm an programmer in a movie. I'm white, male, and conspicuously nerdy, and everything I code works on the first try. I'm the Best Coder because I'm a fast typist, and I type extra fast in programming emergencies. I never Google error messages. There are no error messages.

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  3. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    "What we're asking the Republicans in the Senate to do, is take 'yes' for an answer. We are sending them, word-for-word, what they have passed" Nancy Pelosi says after detailing Democrats' plan to fund the government while continuing to debate border security until February 8th

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  4. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    Total women in the U.S. House: 1989: 16 Democrats 13 Republicans 2019: 89 Democrats 13 Republicans

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  5. Retweeted
    Jan 3

    “When you take the time to attack someone’s character, when you essentially call them dishonest and lacking in integrity, that’s a pretty harsh critique" - Rand Paul, 2019 "Donald Trump is a delusional narcissist and an orange-faced windbag" - Rand Paul, 2016

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  6. Jan 3
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  7. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    How to get things done: - have several things to do - avoid one task stoically until a second comes up that you want to avoid just a bit more - in order to justify avoiding second task, piously complete task you were initially avoiding - repeat

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  8. Retweeted
    29 Dec 2018
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  9. 29 Dec 2018

    In case any Tennesseans have missed this debacle...

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  10. Retweeted
    28 Dec 2018

    China's soybean imports from the US plunged to zero in November, marking the first time since the trade war between the world's two largest economies started that China, the world's largest soybean buyer, has imported no U.S. supplies.

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  11. Retweeted
    27 Dec 2018

    ‘All you Arabs and Democrats, why don’t you go back where you came from?’ — This Macy’s customer unleashed on employees after they spoke Arabic to each other

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  12. 27 Dec 2018
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  13. Retweeted

    The placebo effect has grown stronger in the US since the 1990s, so American pharmaceutical companies have started outsourcing clinical trials of their new drugs — where they have to outperform placebos — to other countries, where the effect is not as strong.

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  14. Retweeted
    26 Dec 2018

    Die Hard is a Christmas movie because John McClane was only there to visit one relative he liked and it turned into a bloodbath.

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  15. 25 Dec 2018

    On this Xmas day, I’d like to remind everyone that building webs is for suckas.

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  16. Retweeted
    25 Dec 2018

    Some of you out there may recall that in 2016 I played an excellent Christmas prank on my long-suffering Dad. It worked a treat.

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  17. Retweeted
    21 Dec 2016

    🎶 Hans is threat'ning your wife Holly fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la At the Plaza Nakatomi fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la 🎶

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  18. Retweeted
    24 Dec 2018

    telling a 7-year-old Santa isn't real is the only time I've seen him genuinely smile

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  19. Retweeted

    Reupping old thread. Reminder: Trump said in 2014 he wanted the US economy to crash and riots to ensue.

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  20. Retweeted
    22 Dec 2018

    RT & follow for a chance to WIN a Funko Shop exclusive Chrome Pop!

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  21. Retweeted
    22 Dec 2018

    September 20, 2013: FOX NEWS: If there is a shutdown, who should get fired? TRUMP: The President.

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