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  1. Good to see David Cameron jumping on board the hashtag. (done for )

  2. Sadiq Khan wins nomination to be routinely trashed in the press and online till at least 2016.

  3. David De Gea: "Ultimately, it's always been my dream to play for Man Utd ever since 11.01pm on the 31st August"

  4. Perfect on : "You don't put a child in a boat unless the water is safer than the land."

  5. retweeted

    This is the best-placed error message in Guardian history.

  6. Don't forget Jeremy Hunt was pro-homeopathy which may be why he's reducing the NHS to 1 doctor who will then cure all

  7. retweeted

    This is still one of my all time favourite things.

  8. Chilcot confirms report is taking so long because it's being done by monks. (done for )

  9. The Apprentice: Labour leadership special.

  10. retweeted

    Calling all image wizards & witches - we're looking for a designer to make awesome content. Job description, sort of:

  11. retweeted

    What idiot called it a Tanning Salon and not a Ray Parlour?

  12. Types of fail, in ascending order: Error Cock-up Fuck-up Calamity Piss-up in brewery Omnishambles Catastrofuck Labour leadership election

  13. Man Utd still confident they can register David De Gea to vote in the Labour leadership election.

  14. Latest iPhone upgrade: new features revealed. (done for )

  15. Don't buy the new iPhone. Impress your friends and save money by simply writing "Sent from my iPhone 6S Plus" at the end of each email.

  16. What's that? There's been an iPhone launch? *heads over to drawer marked "iPhone jokes"* Brace yourselves, long-term followers...

  17. Paula Radcliffe MP implies performance enhancing drugs could be behind Queen's record-breaking achievement.

  18. Latest podcast now available at a youtube near you with the actual faces of .

  19. Today reminds us Britain's always welcomed those from other countries looking for a better life, especially if they want to marry our queen.

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