David SchneiderVerified account

@davidschneider

Actor, writer, comedian, fool.

London
daveschneider.co.uk
Joined February 2009
1,327 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  2. 3 hours ago

    Good to see David Cameron jumping on board the hashtag. (done for )

    8:30 AM - 11 Sep 2015 · Details
    137 retweets 78 favorites
  3. 6 hours ago

    Sadiq Khan wins nomination to be routinely trashed in the press and online till at least 2016.

    103 retweets 95 favorites
  4. 7 hours ago

    David De Gea: "Ultimately, it's always been my dream to play for Man Utd ever since 11.01pm on the 31st August"

    290 retweets 235 favorites
  5. 8 hours ago

    Perfect on : "You don't put a child in a boat unless the water is safer than the land."

    View media Hide media 129 retweets 90 favorites
  6. retweeted
    Sep 10

    This is the best-placed error message in Guardian history.

    5:32 AM - 10 Sep 2015 · Details
    749 retweets 521 favorites
  7. 20 hours ago

    Don't forget Jeremy Hunt was pro-homeopathy which may be why he's reducing the NHS to 1 doctor who will then cure all

    3:04 PM - 10 Sep 2015 · Details
    177 retweets 110 favorites
  8. retweeted
    Sep 7

    This is still one of my all time favourite things.

    7:07 AM - 7 Sep 2015 · Details
    1,262 retweets 1,438 favorites
  9. Sep 10

    Chilcot confirms report is taking so long because it's being done by monks. (done for )

    10:30 AM - 10 Sep 2015 · Details
    150 retweets 119 favorites
  10. Sep 10

    The Apprentice: Labour leadership special.

    9:08 AM - 10 Sep 2015 · Details
    23 retweets 13 favorites
  11. retweeted
    Sep 10

    Calling all image wizards & witches - we're looking for a designer to make awesome content. Job description, sort of:

    17 retweets 7 favorites
  12. retweeted
    Sep 9

    What idiot called it a Tanning Salon and not a Ray Parlour?

    415 retweets 326 favorites
  13. Sep 10

    Types of fail, in ascending order: Error Cock-up Fuck-up Calamity Piss-up in brewery Omnishambles Catastrofuck Labour leadership election

    206 retweets 234 favorites
  14. Sep 10

    Man Utd still confident they can register David De Gea to vote in the Labour leadership election.

    67 retweets 78 favorites
  15. Sep 10

    Latest iPhone upgrade: new features revealed. (done for )

    12:37 AM - 10 Sep 2015 · Details
    179 retweets 134 favorites
  16. Sep 9

    Don't buy the new iPhone. Impress your friends and save money by simply writing "Sent from my iPhone 6S Plus" at the end of each email.

    318 retweets 299 favorites
  17. Sep 9

    What's that? There's been an iPhone launch? *heads over to drawer marked "iPhone jokes"* Brace yourselves, long-term followers...

    25 retweets 103 favorites
  18. Sep 9

    Paula Radcliffe MP implies performance enhancing drugs could be behind Queen's record-breaking achievement.

    75 retweets 91 favorites
  19. Sep 9

    Latest podcast now available at a youtube near you with the actual faces of .

    View media Hide media 3 retweets 12 favorites
  21. Sep 9

    Today reminds us Britain's always welcomed those from other countries looking for a better life, especially if they want to marry our queen.

    221 retweets 170 favorites

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