David Stites

@davidrstites

Purdue & UColorado grad. Loves beautiful code, elegant solutions to complicated problems and football. Pilot. Engineer at Apple. Shoots food porn. Drinks wine.

San Jose, CA
davidstites.com
Joined January 2008
262 Photos and videos Photos and videos

Tweets

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  1. Oct 14 Pittsburgh, PA

    "You unsubscribed from our email list. Our unsubscribe donkey, Pepe, will begin his journey; your request should be processed in 4-6 weeks."

    3,968 retweets 6,780 likes
  2. Oct 14

    Just tried to kill a roach with Axe Body Spray, now it's name is Brett & he won't shut up about crossfit

    9,938 retweets 19,436 likes
  3. Oct 9

    At breakfast and an Oakland Raider fan is bragging that he's never read a book before.

    1 like
  4. Oct 5

    Written by

    5 retweets 15 likes
  5. Oct 5

    I love all the self-righteous people bitching over Trumps tax write off. Do you pay tax on all that stuff you buy on the internet? No? STFU

  6. Oct 4

    Unbelievable. Yahoo intercepting YOUR emails on behalf of the NSA. I hope to see Yahoo's stock price plummet.

    218 retweets 160 likes
  7. Oct 3

    Just doing some user testing how's your day?

    1,533 retweets 2,203 likes
  8. Oct 4

    America runs on Dunkin, and Dunkin barely runs on Windows.

    30 retweets 53 likes
  9. Oct 3

    team dealing with attacks

    9,524 retweets 9,194 likes
  10. Oct 4

    This is how weight distribution dynamics work

    2,734 retweets 3,692 likes
  11. Oct 4

    Fermentation is under way.

  12. Sep 28 Jollyville, TX

    Ah, finally got my Emacs setup just how I like it.

    3,964 retweets 5,700 likes
  13. Sep 27

    I love seeing the leaves change colors in Los Angeles in the fall.

    70,270 retweets 162,830 likes
  14. Sep 28

    Facebook Messenger version 90.0. Pssst, you're doing it wrong.

  15. Sep 26

    I find it fascinating that people would ever spend any of their hard earned money on any political candidate, donating to their campaign.

  16. Sep 26

    The only winner tonight is the Voyager probe, which is speeding away from the Earth at 17 kilometers/second

    31,425 retweets 54,616 likes
  17. Sep 24

    This is how a cone jellyfish eats another cone jellyfish

    2,200 retweets 2,465 likes
  18. Sep 23

    Yahoo's ad revenue is skyrocketing, as 500 million users log in to Yahoo for the first time in years. To change their password and log out.

    1,409 retweets 1,461 likes
  19. Sep 24

    people can be trusted to turn off their galaxy note 7, an incendiary device, but aren’t allowed to bring a bottle of water through security

    1 retweet 2 likes
  20. Sep 18

    Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: not ripe Avocado: I'M RIPE NOW Avocado: okay you were in the bathroom so I rotted

    35,015 retweets 70,736 likes

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