David Hughes

@david8hughes

Writer. I wrote this bio. Staff writer , contact@newmanagency.com.au

Vrijeme pridruživanja: prosinac 2011.

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  1. prije 11 sati

    Aliens are going to come here someday and we’re going to have to explain to them why part of the population chooses to watch trains for fun.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 21 sat

    This is how you eat pussy. The noise. The movement. The duration. Everything.

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  3. prije 14 sati

    I love being a dad but yesterday my son climbed on my shoulders and pissed on the back of my neck.

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  4. prije 19 sati

    Ok look at how my cat sleeps

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  5. prije 21 sat

    This is how you eat pussy. The noise. The movement. The duration. Everything.

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  6. 3. velj

    It’s my son’s first day of school today, wish him luck!

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  7. 2. velj

    I cooked dinner for my wife and set the table all romantically and shit with candles and flowers. I even drove her to the emergency room afterwards and two of the specialists admitted they didn’t know corned beef had an expiry date either.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    12. sij

    Me: can I get a large drink, large fries and a cheeseburger Genie: just ask me for one cheeseburger meal

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  9. 2. velj

    Dude I’m not taking that paternity test, you gonna be chasing me for another 5 years

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Are you really “in a weird place right now” or are you “fucking annoying”

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  11. 1. velj

    There’s a Mr Bean Christmas special where he has a massive wank and then passes out in the bath.

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  12. 1. velj

    When someone says they’re pregnant, don’t ask “why”

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  13. 1. velj

    You can no longer play Super Mario in the UK.

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. lip 2017.

    [end of 1st round of my UFC debut] Corner man: how you feeling? Me [out of breath]: horny Corner man: yeah you gotta stop trying to kiss him

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Wife: and if your friends jumped off a bridge would you do that too? Son: how big is the bridge? Me: is it over water cos that would actually be quite fun

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Accountant: what is your net worth? Fisherman: the big one was about $70

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  17. 31. sij

    Are you really “in a weird place right now” or are you “fucking annoying”

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  18. 31. sij

    Fellas, is it gay if you share a bath with another man and, just as he’s about to get out, you take his dick in your hand and start beating him off so he cums all over you and then you tell him he has to stay in the bath so he can clean it off you is that gay

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  19. 31. sij

    Her: I love a good book Me: I prefer the shit ones

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  20. 31. sij

    Fuck sake it’s been January for almost a month now.

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