Father Dave O'Scouse

@Davescouse3

Don't follow me if you're a grass or a snowflake 🔞 Identify as Chaka Khan

Liverpool
Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2019.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    18. ruj 2019.

    A kid walks into a bar

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 12 minuta
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    My daughter asked me to make her a ballerina's costume. I had no idea where to start, but then I put tu and tu together.... Am I ok with that one ☝️

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  3. I know a song that will get on your nerves....

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata
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    Looks the spit if you ask me... great work

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  5. Awwww shine a lamp, sorry I mean shine a light

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    Even by prison standards, I would make everyone uncomfortable by how loud and frequent I masturbate.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 5 sati
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    I saw this and thought of you!

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  9. I'm protected, are you?

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 2 sata

    i wish penises really looked like this. soooo so cute. not like your regular real penis, an angry worm

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Fuck it's not gonna be quiet at all. It's gonna be the biggest party ever seen in the whole of the North West. None of this shite plastic flags like the City parade. It's gonna be mega

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  12. My mate walked up to me in the pub last night and said, "Who's the bird sitting in the corner with duct tape across her mouth?" "That's my new girlfriend." I replied. "Really?" he said, "You've kept that one quiet."

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 8 sati
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    Salah is a fraud. Great season in 17/18 but just a minnow stat padder in the past two seasons. The worst player in the Liverpool starting XI

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  14. I can't think of a funny caption

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  15. I have some racing geese for sale..... let me know if you want a quick gander.

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  16. I didn't see mug at first I thought he'd done her in with an actual Creme Egg

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 5 sati
    Odgovor korisniku/ci

    You you to bite and kick the fuck off and go on with ya bad self like you are 😂 it’s Twitter not a dick, don’t take it so hard!

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  19. Sounds like an advert for viagra

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  20. I splashed out on some new lingerie in Ann Summers... Now the assistant says I have to pay for it!

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  21. What's happening?

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