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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    Hey everyone! I hope I'm not being a pest, but our album Now is out and I would love for everyone to give it a listen! Thanks for putting up with me. 💚

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    20. sij

    im an idiot but secretly a genius, but even more secretly than that, im an idiot

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata
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    ME: Oh man, here come ol' Pi-Misapproximatin' Steve! Hey Steve, you still misapproximatin' pi? STEVE: 24/7!

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 11 sati

    Are you TIRED of having ALL THAT SKIN? Thanks to the makers of GRAK... GRAK grak grak grak

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    8. lis 2019.

    [running into my ex while shopping] Me, under my breath: smooth peanut butter, smh. dodged a bullet there. Her, to the dolls riding in my cart: hello Cynthia. Anne.

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  7. Turns out they're adding Tug-O-War to the Olympics.

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  8. ME: Oh man, here come ol' Pi-Misapproximatin' Steve! Hey Steve, you still misapproximatin' pi? STEVE: 24/7!

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    What the fuck is the matter with you

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  10. See, El Kabong was Quick Draw McGraw's alter ego, and he dispatched bad guys by hitting them over the head with his guitar.

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. sij

    He was a hip She was a po Can they be any more potamus

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  12. ME: Acoustic music just hits different, you know? EL KABONG: I couldn't agree more.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    Lizzie Borden: Which of you should I kill first? Father: Uh, go axe your mother

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    me: i'd like another bag of those goth grapes please store clerk: *sighs* again sir they're called olives

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    me: what did you think of my feet pics radiologist looking at xrays of my broken toe: please don't call them that

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Me: *when I get a B- in Bio*

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    europe: i drove 2 hours and i’m in another country america: in 4 hours i can get to a different state australia: i have driven 163 hours and am yet to see another town. the kangaroos have started speaking to me. am i a man driving a ute or is the ute driving me?

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Shingles are a pox on your house

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    It’s like a dolphin waiting for you to feed it a fish, and the kind of fish it wants is a crappie

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    15. velj 2019.

    "My battery is low and it's getting dark" is the last message NASA receives from the Mars rover. Six months later the rover sits with a woman in a nowhere bar. "Do you ever miss it?" she asks in a sultry voice. "Not when I have you" the rover replies. They lean in and kiss.

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  21. 3. velj

    Waiting for to put Baby Nut in a bottle of Coca-Cola.

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