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Dan Ozzi
@danozzi
America's Only Music Writer™ | linktr.ee/danozzi
Los Angelesdanozzi.comJoined November 2009

Dan Ozzi’s posts

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Here’s my book. SELLOUT: The Major Label Feeding Frenzy That Swept Punk, Emo, and Hardcore (1994-2007) ⠀ In stores October 26, 2021 from @hmhbooks. Pre-orders now available: SELLOUT.BIZ
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i got to interview coolio one time and you bet i asked him if he was over his beef with weird al.
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i DESPISE instagram accounts that post screenshots of funny tweets. you wanna see a funny tweet? come here and sift through 92,000 absolutely dogshit posts per day like the rest of us
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all trump supporters should be publicly humiliated by the creators of the art they enjoy until they’ve got no culture left but jon voight movies and diamond & silk memes
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YG invites fan on stage to yell out "F**k Donald Trump," kicks him off after he refuses
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when bloomberg dropped out of the race all his billions of dollars should have fallen out of him like sonic the hedgehog
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┏┓ ┃┃╱╲ In this ┃╱╱╲╲ house ╱╱╭╮╲╲ we rent ▔▏┗┛▕▔ an apartment ╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲ because boomers fucked up the economy so bad that owning property is an unattainable fantasy for our generation ╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲ ▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
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very surprised to learn that “emo girl,” the song written by a 31-year-old rapper doing pop punk cosplay and a millionaire’s kid, isn’t very good.
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hello zoomers discovering metallica because of stranger things! here are a few things you need to know about the band. first and foremost their best album is st. anger,
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it's ok to listen to the band you're going to see on the way to the show but not on the way home. can't explain it but it's science
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dr. j robert oppenheimer, you are a member of... OPPENHEIMER: a member of... the american communist party. isnt that right? OPPENHEIMER: well nardwuar i nev— dr. oppenheimer i have a gift for you today. OPPENHEIMER: oh wow my wife's communist party card whered you find this
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you're a punk dude over 30 choose your path: ⚪️ crossfit ⚪️ barbershop culture ⚪️ craft beer ⚪️ mma ⚪️ facebook rants ⚪️ enamel pins ⚪️ tinder creeping
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i ordered gummy vitamins and the package sat in the sun so they all melted into one big vitamin that i take a bite of every day like an apple
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i personally love the direction movies are headed. i was getting so sick of filmmakers trying to deepen my understanding of the human condition. i just want actors i recognize to wear bald caps and tell me the story of the first blackberry or who invented nikes. i love products!
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would like to humbly jump on this to add: here's henry rollins making bill maher look like a bitch (for defending statutory rape no less)
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here’s roddy piper making bill maher look like a bitch
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Ever wonder what the rest of the Beatles' White Album looks like? Using the power of AI, I filled out the background. There is no limit to this amazing technology.
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Hello here’s my impression of every John Oliver bit.... ...that would be like if we trusted a raccoon to fly to Mars. YA CAN’T FLY TO MARS, GARY. YOU’RE A FUCKING PANDA!! A PANDA!!! But if the conflict in Syria isn’t resolved soon...
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wait we're allowed to do this?
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The View’s Meghan McCain calls in sick after getting brutally mocked online all weekend rawstory.com/2019/03/views-
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Replying to
oh jeez there are a lot of people in the replies not getting that this is A JOKE! (the joke being that the band's standout work is actually their 2011 collaboration with lou reed)
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this dude is running for president and has fewer twitter followers than me, proving that regularly tweeting "japandroids whip ass" is a more popular political stance than whatever he's shoveling.
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My platform is about real solutions, not impossible promises. That's what's going to beat Trump in 2020.
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pop punk bands on instagram: exactly 2.3 years ago we released this lil album and it changed our lives forever. happy anniversary to All The Places You’ve Been And The Things That Scare You That You’ve Yet To Find Until You Need Them Most
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generally i don't have a problem with van morrison and morrissey ruining their legacies by devolving into stubborn old bigots but i do think they should be forced to merge into one guy for our convenience. it'd be a lot easier if they both just went by van morrissey.
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wish i could tell my 13-year-old self that the dead kennedys would one day be stealing my own jokes about them
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the scene in garden state where he listens to the shins but i replaced the music with diarrhea noises
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i can’t think of a less relevant artist in 2019 than kanye west. a jesus freak in a maga hat. yeah congrats dude you’re every grandma who watches young sheldon and mails checks to joel osteen now
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it’s not worth engaging w them bc it just amplifies em but i hate these transphobic fucks with everything in me. i hate the little deadeyed bearded fuck. i hate the loser who wrote the wizard books. i hate every gop doughboy making the same boring I Identify As joke. get fucked.
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what band do you think has The Most Mid-Aughts Name? i gotta think it’s Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, no?
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Pop punk/emo folks in the Northeast, meet me a few lines down for some real talk. . . . . This winter shit ain’t no joke y’all gotta invest in a real coat and put the denim jacket away for a few months. The hoodie underneath doesn’t count. You can’t put enamel pins on pneumonia.
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bloomberg spent half a billion dollars to be humiliated on stage when he could have simply started a folk punk band for free
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the most important music documentary of the decade is conor oberst being shown hobo johnson for the first time
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it sucks to not be able to give a woman the presidency but a cool consolation prize would be to give 150 million women free healthcare
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zooey deschanel and her property brothers boyfriend have strong Met At McCarren Park Kickball 7 Years Ago And Now Live In Jersey City vibes
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[propagandhi band practice 1995] chris hannah: ok so i wrote another 10 songs about class warfare and tyrannical governments. john k samson: i have written a poem about my favourite armchair in manitoba and a mouse that lives in my sweater!
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the DNC speeches made me feel a lot better about the future. we may not know how we will stop evictions or provide healthcare or save our economy or hold the powerful accountable, but we know that that we will restore the soul of the nation, whatever the absolute fuck that means.
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the intro to "x gon give it to ya" is more effective than any pre-workout supplement you can buy at gnc.
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very much looking forward to another 7 months of being shamed into compromising my values to vote for an awful candidate who doesn't even win and then getting blamed for it for 4 years
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Don't throw drinks at Tomi Lahren. She is a person just like everyone else. Sure, she makes money by spreading racism, xenophobia, jingoism, transphobia and actually yeah throw the drink what am I saying
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just saw a woman i went to high school with post that she's "doing her own research" on the vaccine. one time in our senior history class she raised her hand and asked the teacher if paris was in italy or europe.
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i wish i could go back to 2016 and tell all the "at least trump will produce great art" people that the only concert is a drive-in chainsmokers show in the hamptons and that there's a netflix comedy special by a woman whose entire bit is lip syncing his speeches.
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porn, 1978: i'm here to deliver a pizza and fuck you porn, 2018: you are my sister but specifically my step-sister which makes the sex i'm about to have with you ok but we must hide our sex from your father who just to be clear is my step-father and not biologically related
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being photographed with candace owens is like watching the videotape in The Ring. your music career will be dead within one week. anyway so long MIA thank u for everything
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rock music fans spent the early 2000s creating an intricate ecosystem of niche subcultures with subtly different personalities (nu metal, emo, goth, indie rock etc) and now live nation lumps it all together as nostalgia gruel that it distributes across a few $600/ticket festivals
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Adam Sandler’s career is inspiring because he’s gonna win an Oscar for Uncut Gems and next year he’ll star in a movie called Slappy Farcedick like it never even happened
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sincerely, ZERO tolerance for anyone who has made transphobia part of their personality. it’s killing people. fuck bill maher. fuck ch-ppelle. fuck the harry potter moron. transphobes fuck off.
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Top 6 tattoos you have if you're a TOOL fan: 6. soundwave of a random stretch of music 5. flesh torn away to reveal robot insides 4. half lasered off wrench logo 3. hyper detailed eyeball on shoulder 2. HR Giger full back piece 1. barcode on the back of the neck
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some bad news -- i put all of trump's inauguration performers into a coachella poster and it sucks even worse now
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aging punk dudes before discovering cryptocurrency vs aging punk dudes after making $30.16 in dogecoin
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ummm live music is back and bands are STILL making us wait around while they tune their instruments??? y'all had over a year to tune them! smdh
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it’s hilarious that Apple regularly eliminates music tools people use like iTunes and headphone jacks and CD drives but gives you shitty U2 albums that you’re legally obligated to be buried with
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