I'm aware, but it's easy for one's actions, especially on sites like this, to be taken out of context. Also, my intent in recommending the original essay was to get people to consider a perspective different than their own...
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Replying to @simpolism @danlistensto
...and to reply with a topic that feels more relatable (i.e. men's pain) feels like shoving aside the topic I wanted to discuss and replacing it with an easier/hot-button target. I appreciate that you deleted the original comment, but I wanted to share my thoughts.
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Replying to @simpolism
dialogue is hard. the level of public discourse outside of our small circles of trust generally leads people to assume the worst, so I took your comment as well intentioned good advice. I never comment with the intent of "shoving aside" a discussion though.
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Replying to @danlistensto
Sure, and I appreciate you took my comment in good faith. It wasn't intended as a personal attack. I didn't see your comment as an attempt to shove the discussion aside, but I do feel like one way discussions work is that people, if given an opening, will take advantage of it...
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Replying to @simpolism
yeah, it's a difficult thing to want to understand something from a perspective different than your own. working from the familiar to the unfamiliar is a decent heuristic. In a better world it would be possible for topics like this one, but in this world it might not be.
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Replying to @danlistensto
I agree, but working out from male pain doesn't seem to be a good approach to understanding female pain. What worked for me was, after reading the essay, thinking about things my female friends have expressed, and trying to frame their comments using the essay's insights.
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Replying to @simpolism @danlistensto
Part of why I found the original essay interesting was because of _how different_ the sentiments and experiences were compared to my personal experiences with male pain.
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Replying to @simpolism
well, me too, thus my original impulse. the performative (I don't mean that pejoratively, it's authentic pain) aspects discussed in the essay were very thought provoking for me and immediately made me think of the near opposite non-performance of male pain.
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Replying to @danlistensto @simpolism
anyway it was a good read, thanks for the link. I wish it was more possible to discuss this stuff without the minefield that surrounds it all.
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Replying to @danlistensto
Have you read this? https://hazlitt.net/longreads/legion-lonely … I found it from
@visakanv's list of good longform essays. It's a good (and depressing) starting point for discussing some of the cultural issues men struggle with. Also interesting to contrast with the essay about female pain.1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
I haven't, will bookmark it. thanks.
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I lied. I did read that one months ago. It had slipped my mind until now. Possibly suppressed cuz it made me cry when I read it.
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Replying to @danlistensto @visakanv
yeah it's really brutal stuff :( I think about it a lot
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Replying to @simpolism @visakanv
it hit too close to home. I had a rough summer :(
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