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danlistensto's profile
Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop
Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop
Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop
@danlistensto

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Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop

@danlistensto

Moloch's janitor

Joined August 2014

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    1. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @danlistensto

      Sure, thinking about others' pain also makes one think about their own pain, and I have a lot of thoughts about male suffering too. It just didn't feel like the place to discuss it (and it's a trope for MRA-types to post "but what about men" in response to this kind of thing).

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    2. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism

      I'm not one of them

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    3. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @danlistensto

      I'm aware, but it's easy for one's actions, especially on sites like this, to be taken out of context. Also, my intent in recommending the original essay was to get people to consider a perspective different than their own...

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    4. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism @danlistensto

      ...and to reply with a topic that feels more relatable (i.e. men's pain) feels like shoving aside the topic I wanted to discuss and replacing it with an easier/hot-button target. I appreciate that you deleted the original comment, but I wanted to share my thoughts.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    5. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism

      dialogue is hard. the level of public discourse outside of our small circles of trust generally leads people to assume the worst, so I took your comment as well intentioned good advice. I never comment with the intent of "shoving aside" a discussion though.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    6. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @danlistensto

      Sure, and I appreciate you took my comment in good faith. It wasn't intended as a personal attack. I didn't see your comment as an attempt to shove the discussion aside, but I do feel like one way discussions work is that people, if given an opening, will take advantage of it...

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
    7. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism

      yeah, it's a difficult thing to want to understand something from a perspective different than your own. working from the familiar to the unfamiliar is a decent heuristic. In a better world it would be possible for topics like this one, but in this world it might not be.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
    8. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @danlistensto

      I agree, but working out from male pain doesn't seem to be a good approach to understanding female pain. What worked for me was, after reading the essay, thinking about things my female friends have expressed, and trying to frame their comments using the essay's insights.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    9. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism @danlistensto

      Part of why I found the original essay interesting was because of _how different_ the sentiments and experiences were compared to my personal experiences with male pain.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
    10. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
      Replying to @simpolism

      well, me too, thus my original impulse. the performative (I don't mean that pejoratively, it's authentic pain) aspects discussed in the essay were very thought provoking for me and immediately made me think of the near opposite non-performance of male pain.

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
      Replying to @danlistensto @simpolism

      anyway it was a good read, thanks for the link. I wish it was more possible to discuss this stuff without the minefield that surrounds it all.

      10:51 AM - 5 Jan 2018
      • 2 Likes
      • visakan veerasamy simpolism
      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
          Replying to @danlistensto

          Have you read this? https://hazlitt.net/longreads/legion-lonely … I found it from @visakanv's list of good longform essays. It's a good (and depressing) starting point for discussing some of the cultural issues men struggle with. Also interesting to contrast with the essay about female pain.

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
          Replying to @simpolism @visakanv

          I haven't, will bookmark it. thanks.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        4. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
          Replying to @danlistensto @simpolism @visakanv

          I lied. I did read that one months ago. It had slipped my mind until now. Possibly suppressed cuz it made me cry when I read it.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        5. simpolism‏ @simpolism Jan 5
          Replying to @danlistensto @visakanv

          yeah it's really brutal stuff :( I think about it a lot

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. Dan listens to rain falling on the rooftop‏ @danlistensto Jan 5
          Replying to @simpolism @visakanv

          it hit too close to home. I had a rough summer :(

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        7. End of conversation

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