Based on the description in the essay, I think it's a massive over-attribution to say toxic masculinity is the cause of a lot of female pain. I suggest reading it.
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I agree, but working out from male pain doesn't seem to be a good approach to understanding female pain. What worked for me was, after reading the essay, thinking about things my female friends have expressed, and trying to frame their comments using the essay's insights.
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Part of why I found the original essay interesting was because of _how different_ the sentiments and experiences were compared to my personal experiences with male pain.
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well, me too, thus my original impulse. the performative (I don't mean that pejoratively, it's authentic pain) aspects discussed in the essay were very thought provoking for me and immediately made me think of the near opposite non-performance of male pain.
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anyway it was a good read, thanks for the link. I wish it was more possible to discuss this stuff without the minefield that surrounds it all.
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Have you read this? https://hazlitt.net/longreads/legion-lonely … I found it from
@visakanv's list of good longform essays. It's a good (and depressing) starting point for discussing some of the cultural issues men struggle with. Also interesting to contrast with the essay about female pain. -
I haven't, will bookmark it. thanks.
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I lied. I did read that one months ago. It had slipped my mind until now. Possibly suppressed cuz it made me cry when I read it.
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yeah it's really brutal stuff :( I think about it a lot
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