anyone else have their phenomenology for the future destroyed? i.e. i cant envision a future for myself but like actually cant
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ok I'll reply to myself instead. is it bad to be "stuck" in the present? the only thing a Zen teacher has ever told me is that everything besides the present is delusion. Is it bad to be stuck in the real and leave delusions behind?
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Delusions can be pleasing. Very very pleasing. Mara is a tempter if nothing else. It feels good to imagine futures that you think would feel good if they were your present. It's vicarious pleasure and is ultimately void.
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The worst thing about the present is that it doesn't feel good the way you wish it did. Imagining some other time/place that does feel good can feel like a life line. "Surely there's something better than _this_ terrible awful place".
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And there is, it's _this_ beautiful place. Takes practice to see it though. I'm lousy at it too, but I'm working on it.
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I think a feeling of "being stuck in" the present is different than "being in" the present. The former implies higher level time-dependent constructs like boredom (see: Heidegger) while the latter implies focus on direct sensory experience.
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There lies a difference between discarding one's vision of a future self and discarding one's notions of time entirely.
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holy fuck i get why time is fake now.
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Time is a rude-ass technology we invented to quantize our labor and I hate it.
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