reminder: he’s a scientologist
daniel tosh’s Tweets
abortions for everyone!!!! pack the courts!!!! ban hats with words!!!!
i guess this means that miami is now the super bowl favorites… and buffalo can go back to being a city god meant to put in ohio.
as a floridian it’s hard to understand why they don’t want to close the state for good. it’s just empty strip malls with sad chain restaurants where sweaty people order blackened mahi-mahi sandwiches.
josh allen makes bad decisions. bills mafia makes excuses. dolphins keep winning!!!
it was too hot to play in florida. it’s too cold to play in buffalo. just let the nfl know where you think you can win a game #bills and i’m sure they will accommodate. #dolphins #floridatrashtour
the super sad #tosh premiere we shot back in march before the world went to shit airs tomorrow. you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll see pictures of your dead dogs. enjoy what many are calling tv’s most emotional moment ever. #seasonofmourning #castroisdead bit.ly/3htnVDS
two big announcements coming in 15 minutes!
hint: it’s two stand-up tours.
2nd hint: one’s in florida, the other’s in the northeast.
no more hints!
dvr’ing the dolphins game today. no spoilzies please. waiting until after the super bowl so i can binge watch their entire magical run.
even though monica said i won’t make mat i still plan to go full out tonight in houston and tomorrow in corpus christi!!
with the 5th pick the miami dolphins take justin herbert… and he went on to be a bust.
for all of you who only follow me in hopes that i will one day start a children’s clothing line, well, today is your lucky day! seriously. and yes, it's all pink! and yes, a portion of proceeds go to charity! check it out at boyswearpink.com and instagram.com/boyswearpinkco
today is the day! tickets to my new stand-up tour go on sale now! loosen up your bible belts! #sweetTtour
danieltosh.com
beautiful fort pierce tonight!
tomorrow, hollywood/ft lauderdale/miami, see you at the hard rock!! #floridatrashtour
florida’s prodigal son is coming home!
presale starts now, password tosh
#floridatrashtour
bit.ly/3xO5Sns
thanks to for making today national #MakeADogsDay! we’ll
be celebrating by tailgating in the garage until we see a squirrel.
#bigday #ad
tom brady may hate you new england, but i still love you.
presale starts now, password tosh
#leavesandlobstertour
bit.ly/3xO5Sns
the #floridatrashtour begins next thursday!!! a portion of proceeds will go to fund local abortions. technically, making all attendees an accessory to murder.
let’s see if this hurts or helps ticket sales.
excited to admit defeat! i too will be moving to texas… for one night only!!! corpus christi presale starts now, password tosh.
bit.ly/3LXklCv
heading to temecula for 2 shows at pechanga casino!! one show will have prizes!
june 10
daineltosh.com
texas, colorado, and some random casino near napa, come see me live!!! presale starts now! password tosh
bit.ly/3rW4ef1
the townies have spoken! second shows have been added in knoxville and johnson city, tennessee. you are welcome!! tickets on sale right now!!!
danieltosh.com
on tonight's new #tosh, i uncover how us a-listers are taking your money. #celebritysidehustles bit.ly/38TERTg
orlando and st. pete 2nd show added! presale password tosh. if you must storm the stage, please do so during my opener’s set.
heading to do shows in the two majors of the pacific northwest, spokane and tacoma! tickets on sale now!! danieltosh.com
big news in the world of texas entertainment! 2nd shows added in austin and dallas!!
bit.ly/3rW4ef1
leaves and lobster tour begins tonight! burlington to nantucket and 10 other lucky cities!!
the middle of july! no better time to be in vegas!! see you tonight at the mirage!!!
now, let’s make my life complete. please, please draft my nephew!!! i’m at the hard rock tonight doing the #floridatrashtour. come by and we can talk $$$.
Quote Tweet
.@FordhamFootball's Tim Demorat (@tdemorat) just threw his 6th TD pass, giving him 53 TDs this year.
He now holds FCS record for most passing TDs in a regular season, passing Jeremiah Briscoe (2016). Averaged 4.2 passing TDs per game this year!
Hopefully more in FCS playoffs. twitter.com/EricGalko/stat…
Quote Tweet
Imagine waiting years to be adopted. That’s why we created National #MakeADogsDay on Oct. 22nd, to help Underdogs find loving homes. Please consider adopting an Underdog today. #SubaruLovesPets
1:00
second show added in fort pierce. tickets on sale now. password tosh. #floridatrashtour
yo , get my nephew on the big board (or big board adjacent!!) are you watching what he’s been doing? he’s got the intangibles…
strong arm ☑️
nfl body ☑️
sexy mustache ☑️
creepy uncle ☑️
gainesville has been added to the #sweetTtour on sept 25! presale starts now, with password tosh!! #chompchomp #fsusucks
bit.ly/3CTWkbU
showbiz alert!
2nd shows added in concord, nh and ft myers, fl!!!
tickets on sale now with password: tosh
#leavesandlobstertour #floridatrashtour
bit.ly/3n4fPqn
presale starts today for my annual spectacular reno show dec 17th,
godspeed!!
password: tosh
bit.ly/3JDzlV3
late show added in nashville, tennessee! tickets on sale now!! please, pass it on!!!