Daniel Pryde

@danielpryde

lightly mustachioed nutritional scientist with a camera.

california
danielpryde.com
Joined September 2009
160 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    May 31

    AVOCADO RIPENESS underripe = wet styrofoam ripe = god's unsalted butter overripe = sunscreen that's been cursed by a witch

    12 replies 292 retweets 1,013 likes
  2. Retweeted
    May 22

    I believe in freedom of speech, I really do. But it should cost you $3500 to say "amaze balls".

    13 replies 171 retweets 897 likes
  3. Retweeted
    12 Jan 2016

    "single mom"? wow big whoop my mom was also only one mom.. wake me up when you're a double mom

    1 reply 13 retweets 94 likes
  4. Retweeted
    30 Nov 2015

    [smoke alarm goes off] "i'll get the baby!" "i'll get the dog!" i'll get the oils "dan" they are essential

    13 replies 1,167 retweets 2,736 likes
  5. May 8
    Replying to

    I could never run for office bc of how whiny and millennial my tweets are. But then again...

    2 likes
  6. May 8

    The touchscreen on my phone works 50% of the time rn so sometimes im forced to watch all 5 seconds of people's boomerangs. 🙏🏼

    1 reply 1 like
  7. May 4
    Replying to

    be not in my feed.

    1 like
  8. May 4

    Whenever I'm overly happy, I go on twitter so the crushing state of current affairs can bring me back down again.

    1 reply 2 likes
  9. May 4

    I think we, as a nation, can come together and agree that the photo you're considering posting is actually zzz.

    2 replies 2 retweets 3 likes
  10. May 1

    in diffusers are just socially acceptable house vapes for white women.

    1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
  11. Apr 14

    There is little more offensive to me than the cheery voices of morning news shows.

    3 likes
  12. Mar 23

    If you call it Cali, get out.

    2 retweets 4 likes
  13. Retweeted
    Mar 21

    I swear to God, the sight of people with deadly diseases crowdfunding their health care is the most dystopian thing about America right now.

    410 replies 14,153 retweets 26,514 likes
  14. Jan 31

    Closing Twitter and and reading some books for the next 4 years bye.

    2 replies 3 likes
  15. Jan 30

    Just imagine what the correspondent's dinner is going to look like this year.

    2 replies 1 like
  16. Retweeted
    10 Dec 2015

    I just switched my phone to airplane mode and a small child appeared and started kicking me in the back.

    42 replies 2,561 retweets 5,043 likes
  17. Jan 5
    Replying to

    I know I'm a monster, don't @ me.

    1 like
  18. Jan 5

    Starting a new photo series called Starbucks Affairs of all the couples that just meet in parking lots and stay in their cars.

    1 reply 3 likes
  19. Retweeted
    19 Dec 2016

    Introverts rejoice.

    hey does anybody know if they make these for humans??
    3 retweets 6 likes
  20. 16 Dec 2016
    Replying to

    is in full effect.

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