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  2. what you read on this feed has a real impact on your emotions and mental health watch this from and ask yourself what energy and people you’re letting into your life - own it and make this something that makes you feel good ✌️

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  3. shoutout to birthday boy who insidiously split his friends across five different social events for the next two weeks so he can have a separate cake each time ..may your sugar coma be eternal

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  4. i don’t actually have a personality i’m just a sentient ball of playdoh that becomes whatever form is necessary to make someone like me

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  5. dos introvertidos tienen negocios inconclusos. hasta pronto amigos.

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  6. i tried to take a break from this app as i find it stressful but the fear of missing out made me even more stressed so i guess we’re all trapped in this hellscape together forever

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  7. to all my people stressed by new years as the passing of time forces you to think about your life and the future and now it’s the end of a decade which is literally a whole crisis: here is a calm vibe 〰️

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  8. merry christmas if you need me i’ll be peacefully disassociating to avoid talking to my family

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  9. if you're a young person that has gotten involved in politics for the first time - do not be disheartened. it’s not your fault the boomers are trying to doom us, our generation stands for hope and change and when the world is eventually saved it will be thanks to people like you.

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  10. 👀mm🥴🤤yes daddy👨‍👨‍👦democracy 👨‍⚖️🥰fill me😵with the juice💦🍹of freedom🗽🎆 i 👀 can’t wait😤⏳to wrap 🐍 my hands✊🤲around that long🦒hard🗿pencil✏️ press 🌚 and leave📝❌a mark🏓💥before sliding it ⤵️ 📩 through the tight🔅🙇🏻‍♂️dark hole🕳🗳 but shh..🤫🤭it’s our🤝secret😉🔐✨🌹💕

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  11. a pokémon that'll deserve such an amazing poké ball

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  12. i witnessed a man bite into a kitkat vertically chomping both sticks in half and the sheer chaotic energy has left me shaken he must go to prison immediately

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  13. presenting a festive finale merch collection - sequin skull sweater / sarcastic sock set / dttm scarf / ‘embrace the void’ blankets and bracelet with a portion of profits donated to 🌍  🇺🇸  🇦🇺 

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  14. mission accepted 1) make sure you’ve registered to vote right now: 2) tag three people below to make sure they’ve registered too and ask them to do the same! no pressure and no rush - just the fate of the entire world xx

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  15. why does somebody not know how to calculate tae angle of x in a right-triangle when you know the length of two sides? well it was fookin one a yus SIN COS TAN

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  16. basil brush: *talking some shit* me: ok boomer

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  17. can we just be clear that two minutes into the new pokemon game you discover someone’s porn stash

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  18. presenting this with literally no fucking context whatsoever

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  19. old man watching me duck to get off a bus in tokyo laughed and said ‘you are too tall for this you are like a big carrot’ guess i’m a roast carrot now

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  20. for three nights in a row i’ve had anxiety dreams about my fish dying so at this point i’m just going to rule out having any larger pets, children or emotional attachments of any kind in my future.

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  21. where are my layers people at the season is finally upon us and we can become our ultimate form a sentient mountain of impossibly interwoven knitted fabrics getting more powerful with every garment

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