Dan HarmonVerified account

@danharmon

grappenmaker; boulevardier; I take four deep four second breaths four times a day and it makes me better than you so eat it

Los Angeles, CA, USA
danharmon.com
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Joined January 2009
Born on January 03
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  1. May 3

    Intern: but we're Golf Digest Editor: his voters can't golf Intern: but he Editor: -can't read. It's clicks, run it

    16 replies 147 retweets 490 likes
  2. Retweeted
    May 2

    call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call call

    Republicans 1 “no" vote away from not having enough support to pass health care plan, according to CNN’s whip count
    70 replies 8,228 retweets 9,345 likes
  3. Retweeted
    May 2

    Hey The Big Sick trailer is out! Watch and love it!

    154 replies 751 retweets 3,005 likes
  4. May 2

    Okay but can we at least just dry-strike on the sofa

    14 replies 18 retweets 249 likes
  5. May 2

    Retweeting under protest

    Replying to @danharmon
    Have you tried taking subtracterall?
    7 replies 20 retweets 332 likes
  6. May 2

    Well, I'm still playing Zelda all night. Fuck yall, you can't untake adderall

    59 replies 383 retweets 2,791 likes
  7. May 2

    Aw man. Snow day melted?

    2 replies 13 retweets 128 likes
  8. May 2

    By the way: The Apprentice? Unscripted. This apocalypse was brought to you by everyone but union writers

    15 replies 160 retweets 806 likes
  9. May 2

    It took me forever to figure this out: You won't freeze to death in the cold areas of the map if you're carrying a lit torch

    Now is probably a good time to ask. For those of us trying to get a career started as a writer, any current sagely advice?
    32 replies 156 retweets 1,297 likes
  10. May 2

    God damn it, can we almost strike every year, I'm not being sarcastic, I love writer jokes

    It's the same old story. We show up to the meeting on time and still end up waiting in the lobby for twenty fucking minutes.
    2 replies 14 retweets 162 likes
  11. May 2

    Glade stock plummets. If that joke doesn't land I can always throw it to an empty, soon to smell normal room

    2 replies 9 retweets 113 likes
  12. May 2

    I am probably going to retweet every joke in this area

    Replying to @JAdomian
    An eerie silence falls over Fred 62
    4 replies 8 retweets 81 likes
  13. Retweeted
    May 2

    You can feel the tension in Los Feliz.

    2 replies 42 retweets 323 likes
  14. May 2

    Steeeeeerike THREE since I became a member! And I just got the paraglider in Zelda

    12 replies 8 retweets 286 likes
  15. May 1
    Replying to

    Has everybody been singing "Sheikeh Slate / Sheikeh Slate / Her Slate is Sheikey" to the tune of Superfreak already

    5 replies 41 retweets 318 likes
  16. May 1
    Replying to

    Oh, I see the character's name isn't actually Zelda, that's interesting

    8 replies 25 retweets 189 likes
  17. May 1

    I apologize to the writers that created that show. I haven't seen it, I'm just demonstrating one of many zingers we lose in...22 minutes!

    6 replies 3 retweets 129 likes
  18. May 1

    And I know the suits will say "hey man there's lots of content" to which I say okay but some of it is Donald Sutherland as a gem dealer

    7 replies 13 retweets 138 likes
  19. May 1

    I made it up. It's when you get to a place where nobody questions you, so, in order to stay honest, you start assuming you know nothing

    Replying to @danharmon
    What is second adulthood?
    8 replies 21 retweets 209 likes
  20. Retweeted
    May 1

    Subscribers: Episode 243 "Adult Onset Pyromania" w/ Is now up!

    3 replies 7 retweets 62 likes

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