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#dan
@dan_allegretto
i'm your problem now
nycdialdanshoppe.comJoined July 2011
868 Following
11.4K Followers

#dan’s Tweets

#dan
@dan_allegretto
have spent the entire morning thinking of setting a date to delete twitter and insta... maybe late may??
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
student in the halls of a high school with their back turned to you wrapping their arms around themselves to make it look like they’re making out with someone… not something you see much anymore
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
gays are always like “new mirror!” it’s like.. yeah mirrors don’t even look like anything usually
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
can you guys just watch Sharp Stick and appreciate it now so i don’t have to hear about how “it was actually good” in ten years..
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
if you're wondering who the makers of scheana shay's dress are look no further than Patrik and Pól from the 2019 underground reality series Gown And Out in Beverly Hills
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
every anonymous person on twitter i’ve met IRL turned out to be yep you guessed it.. Weird Annoying Scary and Dressed Poorly
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
i counted the number of times they said the words "dad" and "fuck" on tonight's episode of succession dad: 34 fuck: 67
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
the world if jeffree star was cast as barbie and also played every single character nutty professor style
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
two things that have tricked me lately: 1) i swore paul vallas was elected mayor of chicago two weeks ago and now it's some other guy? 2) i thought donda academy permanently closed last year but i guess it's been operating and only serving sushi?
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
was gonna stay in tonight but i spilled an entire sample of cdg incense avignon all over myself so.. time to hit the town
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#dan
@dan_allegretto
when you say something funny and someone is like “i knew you were gonna say that” ummm… shut up bitch
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