when a cop's wife sends me nudes it makes my
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Simon Girthy
@daggerandpen
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TXJoined March 2018
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POV ur in bed and about to get your head jumped on
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As many people know, I'm out of work due to Parkinson's and Long Covid. Social Security is not coming through, so a big Winter Fundraiser is here to help me get through another Polish winter.
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tbh I'm glad people like Elon crave the approval of weird conservative neckbeard types because if he came on here trying to fit into weird twitter I'd hire someone to shoot me in the head
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hahahahaha fucking owned
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move aside John Coffey, we're doing the Magical Autist now
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if "autistic" means that like Greta Thunberg we care about the future of the environment & are unmoved by tactics to co-opt us by our manipulative elders, then "autism" is clearly an evolutionary advantage; it allows us to repel those coercive "social cues" tricking others. twitter.com/Independent/st…
the headlines make it sound like the romanian cops saw Jerry's Pizza and were all "hey that's one of our local human trafficking outfits"
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merry Christmas to you and yours from me and mine and gay Santa
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like idk what this aesthetic is, maybe every Slovenian child draws this to keep Slovenian Krampus from eating her, but it slaps
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it's been 5 years and i think it's probably finally safe to admit that whatever the fuck Melania Trump was doing at Christmas was a vibe
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if our power goes out this week me and the governor are having a conversation
GIF
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very proud of my psycho ex gf for losing nearly 300lbs this year!!
she was already skinny, she just lost custody of her 3 oldest kids
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Don't mind me, I'm busy luring cishet guys to their doom by baiting a cartoonishly obvious trap with a bottle of beard oil and a pocket knife what has a useless leather carry bag
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7000 people giving 1 dollar -or-
700 people giving 10 dollars -or-
70 people giving 100 dollars -or-
7 people giving 1000 dollars
or any combination of the above will keep me alive until spring!
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As many people know, I'm out of work due to Parkinson's and Long Covid. Social Security is not coming through, so a big Winter Fundraiser is here to help me get through another Polish winter.
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rereading the later issues of the Boys. having the parodic french maniac calling someone else a surrender monkey 17 years after the Simpsons episode that coined it is such a weird choice
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y'all interrupt power to my farm while getting in bed with crypto and it's y'all's asses, count on it
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hey why in the fuck is Lavaca county getting blackout notices when it's 70F outside and nobody's running AC or heat?
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no you're definitely conventionally right wing, down to the cringe memes and love of women who look like children
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I am a 38 year old man and the funniest thing in the world to me is making my little cartoon assassin hang out next to Poseidon's uncircumcised bronze wiener
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just hanging out at home
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this is a bulletproof scheme
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I'm gonna put a bunch of super private data in my DMs so when the inevitable breach happens I can sue Elon for a trillion dollars
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i appreciate people like Elon and Trump who go out of their way to prove that billionaires are just garden variety dumbasses who happen to be rich and evil
see nerds you can be terrified of the sun AND nice to women at the same time
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The nakedness of woman is the work of God.
Excess of sorrow laughs, excess of joy weeps.
The roaring of lions, the howling of wolves, the raging of the stormy sea, and the destructive sword, are portions of Eternity too great for the eye of man.
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business genius buys company losing $4m a day for $44bn and then fires the people keeping it running to save a couple $100k
just logging in real quick to say: lol. lmao. way to get bought by Elon you fucken dweebs
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logging back in real quick to say Elon's a lil bitch and he and his AI can take turns sucking my dick and b hole
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don't fuckin mansplain QTs to me you pricks
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[Tracy Lawrence voice]
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Omg… just going thru my video. This is a story about a red truck and a tornado…. I CANNOT believe they drove away like that. #txwx #tornado
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damn girl you got some
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4 years of irony-poisoned brain rot that was still an order of magnitude less toxic than facebook #MyTwitterAnniversary
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now im no mechanic but there might be something wrong with this wheel bearing
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an interesting fact I've learned over the last couple weeks is that 97% of experts on nuclear weapons think it's pronounced nukular
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the tornado/noon siren went off at 10:40am so if the nukes are coming i just want to say haha suckers have fun collecting bottle caps
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