Dad's Puns

@DadsPuns

The old ones are the best...

Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2015.

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  1. prije 8 sati

    Jokes about sausages are bad... but.. Jokes about German sausages are the würst!

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  2. prije 8 sati

    Really cheesed off. Every morning a huge German Shepherd poos on my front lawn. Today, to make matters worse, he brought his dog.

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  3. 4. velj

    My wife is on one of these tropical fruit juice diets, the house is full of the stuff! It's enough to make a mango crazy.

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  4. 4. velj

    My optician's just told me I'm colour blind. It's come completely out of the green.

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  5. 4. velj

    Virtual Run raising pennies for if any of you fancy a challenge 🤞⭐

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  6. 4. velj

    Words cannot describe how beautiful you are. But numbers can, 6/10

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  7. 4. velj

    How do you comfort a grammar fanatic? Their, they're, there.

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  8. 4. velj

    Why is abbreviation such a long word?

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  9. 4. velj

    What days are the strongest? Saturday & Sunday. The rest are week days.

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  10. 4. velj

    Just seen that there's a nudist convention on in town next week... Might go if I've got nothing on.

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  11. 3. velj

    Sorry sir, we don't serve time travelers here. A time traveller walks into a bar.

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  12. 3. velj

    My son asked me what procrastinate means. I said: “I’ll tell you later.”

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  13. 2. velj

    I've just invented a new Golf ball that will go in the hole if it gets within 4 inches. Note to self: Do NOT put them in back pocket.

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  14. 31. sij

    Today's 5km as an inflatable T-Rex for 💛💗⭐ Day 31/366 and that's month one done doing 5km every day and £3000 raised so far! Thank you everyone that's followed and supported me so far 👍😎 Just giving is below 🙈👇😘

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  15. 31. sij

    I could make a million jokes about cash machines I just can't think of one atm.

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  16. 31. sij

    Spent all of my wages on skin cream. Bit of a rash decision!

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  17. 30. sij

    I told my boss I needed a pay rise, I said that 3 other companies were after me Boss "which ones?" I said "the electric, gas, & the water"

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  18. 30. sij

    I can hear opera coming from my wallet.. I think it might be the 3 tenners

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  19. 30. sij

    I always carry a picture of my wife and children in my wallet. It reminds me why there’s no money in there.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    29. sij

    They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the hell runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?

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