Imagine the NYT editorial “Barack Obama is Still a Colonizer” from M’Baku of the Jabari Tribe.
But then: plot twist! Nakia does a followup in a black publication (the root?) agreeing with M’Baku but also throwing shade at the unimpressive feminism of the United States but ALSO the (recent?) shortage of female heads of state in Wakanda AND around the world.
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*T’Challa brings M’Baku along to a formal international summit as representative of the Jabari tribe* Obama: I— M’Baku: WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! WHOO! Obama: *stunned into silence* T’Challa: *wtf face* M’Baku: A brown-skin colonizer is still a colonizer *OldKanyeShrug*
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Obama: “Don’t WHOO, vote!”
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GOP Rep Joe Wilson: The lack of civility shown by *extremely colonizer voice* “M’Baku” of the “Jabari” “tribe” interrupting President Obama is a clear indication that the savages of Wakanda cannot be trusted, and that our choice to ally with them is a threat to our way of life...
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Candidate Trump: The WAH-CAN-DINS are not our friends, okay, they’re not our friends. And savages, cmon! They don’t have elections, they have fights to the death. Now If we had that, we wouldn’t have to worry about Crooked Hillary rigging the election...
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Candidate Marco Rubio: Donald Trump’s vulgar statement about fighting Hillary Clinton to the death is one more example of why he is unfit for the Presidency. We cannot have a barbarian like Trump leading the free world—or barbarians like the Wakandans. So we should bomb them.
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Reporter: Uh, Senator Rubio, uh, why should we bomb Wakanda? What could that possibly accomplish? Their weapons technology is lightyears beyond... Rubio: Oh, saaay, caaaann youuu seeeee, by the dawn’s early liiiiight...
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Obama, apparing with T’Challa October 2016: In this moment of tension I just uhhhh want to reaffirm our uhhhh alliance with the people of Wakanda uhhhhh their goodwill and charity is an example for us all uhhhhh in these times of strife and divisiveness.
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Obama, with family, on a Wakandan plane January 21, 2017: FUCK ALL Y’ALL BITCHES WE WAKANDANS NOW NAH BITCH I AIN’T KENYAN BUT I’M SURE AS FUCK WAKANDAN I GOT THE DAMN TATTOO AND EVERYTHING WAKANDA FOR MOTHER FUCKING EVER. PEACE!
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End of conversation
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