Too many men (I fear queer men included) are under the mistaken impression that they “deserve” a romantic/sexual partner for doing anything other than that specific person wanting to spend time with and/or sleep with them.
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You don’t “deserve” sex because you’re a doctor, or a lawyer, or you got a degree from a good school, or you have a nice car, or you have nice jewelry or you were nice to her or WHATEVER. It’s you turn on somebody that also turns you on. That’s the criteria. DASSIT.
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(I’m not saying that you just sleep with/date everybody you’re attracted to, or for that matter that you have to be attracted to everyone you consent to sleep with, I’m just saying external shit doesn’t matter, it’s about two—or more—specific people.)
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We are fed too many “slay the dragon, get a princess” stories, and too many men, despite being whole ass adults who should know better, still seem to forget about the “princess decides what she wants” part of the story.
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And at the end of the day it’s just another version of treating a human like an object. Too many men think of sexual partners as like... put in tokens adding up to value x and out pops sex, lol. NOPE!
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You still gotta deal with this other human as another human, who may or may not have any interest in you for reasons that may or may not have anything to do with you or be under your control in any way! And if that doesn’t interest you, better start saving up for your sex robot!
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End of conversation
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