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The final boss is Ben Carson, who has been bodysnatched by a still-partially-senile Ronald Reagan.
Call Me By Your Name 2: THE CORRECT VERSION OF THE ROME SCENE FROM THE BOOK INTERCUT WITH THE UNBELIEVABLY PAINFUL REUNION SCENES AND ALSO JUST MONTAGES OF ELIO AT VARIOUS AGES FUCKING EVERYTHING/BODY/GENDER/PERSON/SEXY
Shape Of Water 2: A black fishman comes for Octavia Spencer but instead of taking her with him he teaches her husband to not be a sack of shit on some Preacher's Wife type shit. Also a gay fishman comes for Gay Neighbor and they live happily as a sweet old gay couple forever.
Three Billboards 2: The black people in town kill all the white people except for Tyrion Lannister bc you can't kill a Lannister unless you're a Lannister and there are no other Lannisters around. The black people are never punished and live happily ever after.
Phantom Thread 2: Just Cyril staring at the camera, at first disdainful, then merely unimpressed, then---for a fraction of a second---warm, then finally, tolerant (but not indulgent).
Dunkirk 2: Harry Styles sings Sign Of The Times over footage of various dimly-lit historical battles.
Darkest Hour 2 AND The Post 2: Winston Churchill arrives at the Washington Post, and he, Katherine Graham, and whoever Tom Hanks played marvel at how much like themselves they are.
Lady Bird 2: Saoirse Ronan continues to come of age through brilliant closeups and maybe dates another gay in college.
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