I think we don't talk enough about how the whole don't touch my hair thing is in large part about not allowing yourself to be exoticized.
The issue was about my participating in being made other in a space, among friends, where I should have felt/been "normal."
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Don't touch my hair is about personal space and white ppl assuming free access to black bodies, yes, but to be fair, usually they ask!
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"Can I touch your hair" is an offensive question not bc asking to touch ppl is offensive but bc of how it asserts my otherness.
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It reinforces that this black face in this white place is unusual, an oddity, a curiosity, a guest. Not a co-heir to what we too created.
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