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I just think the whole "what about me and my shitty thing" is so much more valid when you're saying "let's talk about the shitty things about being poor" or my other friend is saying "let's talk about the shitty things about living in the hood."
but "let's talk about the fact that women do bad things to men too, it's not just men doing bad things to women!!" At the ABSOLUTE minimum we have to understand how that discussion can take up all the air in the room---bc we are predisposed to focus on men's pain over women's.
also we already HAVE plenty of people on that track. PLENTY. And the fact that social justice circles are like "ummmm, can we cool it with that please" is a perfectly fair reaction to the fact that "let's talk about men's pain" has been a deflection tactic since forever.
and to be clear, I'm not accusing you of deflecting, I'm saying that bc of that history "let's focus on the women's issues when we bring up women's issues even though there are men who have experienced it too" is a good general rule at least for now.
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