Like do we see what a fucking catch 22 that is? Side A: Hey, be honest with men, just tell them how you feel. Side B: If you are honest with me I will start with violent words and I might get to violent acts.
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Okay shit one serious rebuke to the Dudes Who Have Feelings About Cat Person: surely you noticed that on multiple occasions she is afraid for her life. Dimly afraid, but afraid. And yet you expect emotional honesty from this woman. Really?
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And then all the Side A dudes are like "yeah but I would NEVER" aha! But you benefit from the fact that some guys do. And that's a really ugly, hateful thing to think about but I PROMISE you you have at MINIMUM gotten a woman's emotional labor bc of that conditioned fear.
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and she might not even be scared of you! Or have ever BEEN scared of you! but our brains learn general rules and when a general rule is lodged in your brain far enough back there, it will activate even in places where it has no business operating according to your conscious mind.
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End of conversation
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k but at the end of the day one feels bad and the other is dead.
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because one involves being dead and the other involves feeling bad. Like... just... your real actual point is that men are as scared of being laughed at as women are of being dead. And this is like... valid? Equivalent? Represents some kind of power parity?
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k but don't you think that probably has more to do with anxiety and depression and unrelated trauma than with the great power women have over men?
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"how do we know one fear is more traumatic." So you're asking a serious question about how we know it and not questioning which fear is more traumatic?
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but not every story is about having empathy with all sides, especially in a situation where one side has a hell of a lot more power than the other side in basically all areas of society.
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Who do you think gets more dates with attractive 20 year olds? Relatively unattractive 34 year old men? Or relatively unattractive 34 year old women? The SYSTEMIC power is very obviously on his side.
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what do society-wide power dynamics have to do with individual person to person interactions? Isn't that obvious?
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