LaVar Hosting Jeopardy July 26-30 Stan Account 👁

And it's not that I don't have a SERIOUS critique of that culture (as I do of every space I've ever been in lol), it's just that I'm inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt when they take a step in the right direction.

I don't have the reaction of "oh really??? You took a step for THEM for THAT bullshit and not for me and my Very Important Thing???" 'Cause like... it feels like these people took steps to be more welcoming to me.

So then when you're mad at them... are you mad at them for taking a step to help me? Is this thing that made my life suck so much less "bullshit" to you?

And that's an offputting enough thought, but the real kicker is: is this thing that made my life suck so much less actually bullshit? Are all the little ways life is easier as a bisexual assimilated Negro among these white people vs those white people (and a lot of those blk ppl)

are all of those things really bullshit relative to the Real Issues of material deprivation? Are we really focusing on everything but the main thing? Those questions are only more painful because they might actually be true.

I dunno if there are people who are shitty just because they wanna be shitty. <aybe there are. But I know for me, generally where there's a gap between what I think is right and what I actually believe, it's because there's a real psychological difficult there.

like, it's difficult---for anyone---to believe that something important to them personally is unimportant in the Grand Scheme of Things, should even be dismissed or forgotten in favor of more important things.

To put it another way: it's a harrowing thought to realize that not just your surplus, but what you needed, was obtained through/by/from/within/because of privilege. But then I always claim that's as true of poor straight white folks as of rich black queer me, so.