They're disagreements, cases of unprofessional behavior. Nothing worth calling out and disrupting the peace of the community over. But over time, they build. They collect. More and more people have bad interactions with this person. (2/?)
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Still, none of them speak out, because this person hasn't done anything egregiously awful. At the same time, this person is defensive. They begin blocking anyone who doesn't agree with them. In semi-private spaces, they label people as bullies for giving civil criticism. (3/?)
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They gain a reputation of claiming victimhood almost before anything bad has actually happened. People get nervous. They stay quiet. This community has a history of believing the first person to speak out, something which this person uses in their favour. (4/?)
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Tension grows as everyone holds their breath, waiting for this person to do something bad enough to speak out against. No one wants to throw the first stone, because separately, those interactions aren't worth tearing someone down over. (5/?)
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Then one person brings something forward. Nothing particularly condemning: just a simple request to not be associated with a project she had dropped out of. Everyone who had been waiting holds their breath a little tighter, hoping maybe this is the watershed. (6/?)
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It turns out that holding your breath for so long is hard. A few people let a little slip, the whisper network grows. One person lets go of their breath and, in the relief of breathing again, ends up lashing out. (7/?)
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Suddenly, the focus turns on them. Instead of focusing on the subject, people outside the whisper network look at the one who’s lashed out and take them to task. People unconnected to the situation grumble about how negative the community has gotten. (8/?)
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They fret about the right way to call out bad behaviour. They reinforce the atmosphere that has kept everyone effected quiet for so long. This person isn't outright abusing anyone. They aren't harassing anyone. So it can't be that bad, right? (9/?)
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Elise Cretel, @/DNDElise, is unprofessional and at times, unreasonable. She has let a project she leads wither on the vine, even focusing on its second volume while the first one atrophies. She has taken any criticism - even edits in group projects - as personal attacks. (10/?)
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Personally, she has called me a bully and abuser and compared me to the likes of ZS - something that, as an abuse survivor, is deeply hurtful. When I attempted to reach out to her about this, to find out what I’d done that she perceived as bullying, she never responded. (11/?)
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Individually, none of these has been worth calling out. But many people I know have had similar interactions with her. There is a consistent theme of acting unprofessional and decrying personal slander, of shutting people out rather than attempting to communicate. (12/?)
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She has been given countless chances, endless patience, and numerous people have held their tongues out of respect for the community and fear of retaliation. (13/?)
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I don't even hold any ill will toward her. For the sake of those still involved in Through the Veil, who have been working and waiting for over a year, I want the project to succeed. But I'm not hiding the truth of what it's like to work with her anymore. (14/14)
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