saw this on instagram and I’m just gonna park it right here, good night
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king crissle
@crissles
graduate student & professional podcaster
king crissle’s Tweets
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your cousin's friend prolly just picked up an STD but please keep going 💀
Imagine *not* smacking the shit outta this bitch.
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There was a sign on the table not to sit there because of social distancing. Karen moves the sign and sat there anyway. The management asked her to move or leave. This is what happened next. #covid19 twitter.com/Jwheels_74/sta
please don't be mad at your body if it gets bigger while keeping you alive during a damn pandemic.
this is what the “invite me even though i’m gonna flake every time” crowd doesn’t seem to understand. some people really be hurt by that shit.
this entire ab*rtion debate is endlessly frustrating because if you are against them you could just… not have one. it’s really absurd that the argument continues beyond that point.
Y’all remember when google did this for black history month?
Please wear masks while looting your local big box stores. Mainly so you don’t bring corona home with you but also so you’re harder to identify on video.
i don’t know who needs to hear this but people are supposed to be “soft”. we are supposed to have emotions. having feelings is part of the human experience.
meghan said she don't know why kate got one treatment and she got the exact opposite. i can think of half a reason.
amy winehouse really made music for 3 am. no matter what you doing at 3 am this bitch's catalog fits.
when your parents are emotionally mature and are teaching you how to regulate your own.
what “millennials on your social team” actually looks like 🔥
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i did not know my mic was on in class and said “girl, i do not feel like doing this shit” the semester needs to end.
you didn’t lose your spark. it might be buried underneath the aftermath of all the shit you’ve been through, but it’s there.
i enjoy their programming but the producers at TLC will not see heaven.
This is hilarious because all law enforcement has to do to end this shit is treat them like they treat us.
a lot of adults are really in their feelings because they see a new generation of children being treated with the kindness and respect that they were denied in their own childhoods. it can trigger a “how come they deserve it and i didn’t” reaction, even unconsciously.
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y’all hear “gentle parenting” and think it’s talking to a child in a baby voice until they’re 20 years old, nah bruh just don’t rock bottom Man Man cuz he spilled the Welch’s on the kitchen counter
prolly so he don't appear as buff as he really is 🌚
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I just don’t understand why Jonathan Majors would show up to court in a boneless blazer? Explain it to me like I’m 5
i hate y’all cuz now i really want adele and meg on a track together.
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Notable rappers who are currently locked up.
them people are bout to get home from c*ach*lla on fl*ghts with no m*sk m*ndate. good fucking luck out here yall.
i don’t know where most people’s mental health is right now but mine is definitely not in an “easily completes tasks” place. at ALL.
people who rob banks don’t do it by asking to withdraw money from their own account. that is… the exact opposite of robbery.
this whole time i thought florence pugh was the full name of the girl from florence and the machine. see... this is why i stay out of white business.
the injustice of this country/world is really getting to me. the number of people who are risking their lives trying to feed their kids and/or facing homelessness while jeff bezos “makes” $13 billion in one day... that shit is really fucking me up.
i do not wanna see another video of white people acting a racist fool unless somebody is smacking the shit outta them. enough is enough.
people who listen to albums for the first time on shuffle are chaotic.
If Trump supporters want to shoot up Lysol or have a Clorox margarita I will not stand in their way. Bon appetit dumbasses.
Gammy cleared Jada right on out 💀 And she ain’t lie.
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i found the debate over whether #RedTableTalk should give Olivia Jade a platform infinitely more interesting than anything Olivia had to say.
2:06
forcing myself to eat what’s in the house instead of ordering out
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I went from "ehhh idk about abolition" to "tear every last piece of this bullshit down" in less than a month.
janet is pleading with us to leave justin alone and all the stans are like "no ♥️ have a good day legend".
“bad marriage for life” is what a lot of people are living but can’t admit aloud. may the lord be a fence between me and that shit.
what’s wild is the only thing most trump supporters will lose is an openly white power president. their lives are going to improve in every other way. 💀 and they do not deserve.
Obama is the same as he’s always been. It’s me who has (thankfully) moved further to the left.
so many people are ill-equipped for parenthood and i do not mean financially.
fun fact: if it leaves after you command it to do so, it’s not depression.
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last night I felt a spirit of depression trying to come on me & instead of dwelling in it, I commanded it to leave in the name of Jesus. God gave us power, we gotta use it.
i didnt watch the grammys but i assume if something really important happened yall will argue about it nonstop for the next 150 hours.
i’m not even gon drag, just know that your teen mom suicide pact music didn’t pave the way for Beyoncé to do one single thing. not one. @LanaDelRey
not to be dramatic but i need every episode of abbott elementary to be two hours long.
sending strength to everyone who is done pretending that nothing is wrong.
i'm watching tindr swindlr and taking notes of all the red flags i catch. nine minutes in and... 💀 i have never been so glad to not see black girls in media.
Friendly reminder that this country has more than enough resources to ensure everyone's survival during a pandemic but won't do it because racist.
the bridgerton/shein collab we've been waiting for
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keke prolly not gon leave that lil lightskinned incel but she also aint ever gon be able to go online again without her fans reminding her that he's trash.
the fact that joe biden's *entire* appeal is that he is not trump 💀 the bar for white men is in hell.
every year white people post their holiday plates and i thank the sorting hat once again for putting me in the negro house.
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shout out to the therapists that are processing this crazy time in history while helping others do the same.
Those of us who have actually kept our asses at home deserve some kinda prize.
I really don’t know how anyone can read about how covid affects the body and not be afraid of catching it. Teach me your ways.
imagine if everyone was able to heal their inner child before becoming a parent.
harry still trying to protect people who have made it clear that their love for him is conditional.
genuinely happy for the 38 people nationwide who were waiting on fda approval. 🍾
The internet has made it so that people who watched a couple of Facebook videos feel empowered to argue with physicians and epidemiologists about disease and medicine.
Black people been talking about the problem with police brutality since the police were first formed. White people are the recipients of that shit for less than two weeks and now we got a major city disbanding their police force. Wow.
I keep thinking about the kids who have been stuck at home for months with shitty parents/caregivers and no end in sight.
this is why i let (mixed) people tell me whether they're black, cuz i'm not inviting someone into my identity if they don't wanna be here. twitter.com/gordonhues/sta
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it’s the way she can’t even pass for melania at all 💀
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perhaps i am strange but i really don't mind wearing a mask. i actually love the thought of breathing in fewer of yalls germs.
I sneezed (into a tissue) in this Uber and the driver pulled out a giant can of Lysol and let it loose. I’ve never been more impressed five stars 30% tip.
i hope ashley ask her the same thing cuz…
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Next week, Nicki is gonna eat Ashley up! #RHOP
Nicki: “If you had $100 million in the bank, would you have picked your man?”
what a reminder that this woman is not and never has been a therapist.
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i hope when i wake up the news is that naya rivera has been found alive.
it’s funny how the Cuff It dance is the easiest shit that TikTok ever came up with and some people still can’t do it.
if we were okay, we’d be recording. if it was as simple as “just push through and get it done” we’d do that like we have so many times before. i’m sorry the show is some of yalls primary coping mechanism, but we’re not okay and it won’t be back til we are.
Angela Davis is gonna be on Red Table Talk this week. I will be on time for that.
dababy is such garbage that i am now in a position to feel empathy for lil miss "ya man wants my yellow skin".
Wh*te people y’all can feel free to keep this distancing thing going after the rona clears up. Y’all love to stand thisclose to people in public for reasons I do not understand.
in 2022 i hope i get to experience good mental health on more days than not.
i sure did sit my ass down to watch Tab Time and almost shed a tear at this part
Y’all really decided that being at the club, on a boat, on the beach etc mattered more than controlling the spread of coronavirus. We are just not the same and frankly I deserve better.
sometimes you just need people to disappoint you one more time so you can finally let go.
finally eligible for the vaccine, shout out to obesity the real mvp.
oh yes and then she makes him her manager so he can ruin her life further. twitter.com/YeahTeriq/stat
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the way abbott elementary somehow just keeps getting better? no choice but to stan.