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  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    3. tra 2019.

    Instead of flirting with women I correct their grammar.

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  2. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. sij

    I have spent hours today, literally, missing Julian Assange, specifically - pondering the attributes that he possesses that I simply haven't found in any other public figure, despite much analysis and contemplation on my part. The void left by his silencing is stark & depressing.

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    23. sij

    What ridiculous nonsense. The First Amendment is a limitation that is placed **ON THE US GOVERNMENT**, not some special privilege that the US government magnanimously bestows upon some individuals but not others.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    21. sij

    Couldn't afford LASIC, so I played a few rounds of Laser Tag without wearing the goggles.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    19. sij

    A response to a comment on my channel. I would love for people to appreciate that at the receiving end of every comment is an actual living, breathing human. Most people do. But it’s the internet, and the exception should not make the rule. ✌️

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  6. 18. sij
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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    16. sij

    The weird thing is that the wild animals are also making a film about the documentary crew that showed up.

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Me: Did you catch the football game today? Them: I'm from England, we don't call it that here. Me: Sorry, did you catch the meterball game today.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    10. sij

    Explain how the government of Iraq demanding that US military leave the country, and the US refusing, makes the US anything other than an occupying force in Iraq

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. sij

    America just needs a mom to be like, “A new war? You got new war money? You never even finished the last two. We have plenty of war at home.”

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    . founder , who is being kept in a prison cell up to 23 hours a day, has won an award for raising the plight of the Catalans

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    9. sij

    [trying to impress fiancée's entire family at dinner] waiter: here's the check whenever you're ready- me: oh i'll get it! [reads bill and spits out wine] WHO ORDERED THE "SUBTOTAL"?!?

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. sij

    Consider: millions of years ago our antecedents gave a massive sacrifice of their left hemisphere. We lost a tremendous amount of short term memory and replaced it with Broca’s, Wernicke & the phonological loop. But why? So we can—talk. Thus chimpanzees can do this—we can’t:

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  14. 6. sij
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  15. 6. sij

    I'm "it's easier to type out *FACE PALM EMOJI* than to find it on my phone" years old.

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. sij

    will i understand WW III if i haven't seen WW I and WW II

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  17. 3. sij

    I'd rather take my chances with a tornado than with whatever's in the storm cellar 😯

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    30. pro 2019.

    If I'm up at midnight on New Year's Eve, it's because I had to pee.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    If baseball really wanted to get exciting, they'd let a celebrity throw the LAST pitch. Bases loaded, here's Danny DeVito.

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  20. 29. pro 2019.
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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    28. pro 2019.

    Publisher: so it’s a kids book about the negative effects of peer pressure? Dr. Seuss: no no, it encourages it Publisher: oh Dr. Seuss: and it rhymes Publisher: listen I really don’t think- Dr. Seuss: there’s also ham Publisher: keep talking

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