zero

Realising I feel utterly unsatisfied at the existential level

Don't wish to be prescriptive but the way you deal with this is going be to be crucial because this feeling keeps coming back in waves. I've seen this happen far too often esp with people like you/me (don't have the right descriptors): think too much/curious/ambitious/ADHDish

So find a way to channelize the angst because it's going to be useful for when it comes back + these refractory periods are often fertile territory for maturity/growth + fun/play.