zero

Realising I feel utterly unsatisfied at the existential level

Unable to determine what percentage of that is attributable to me and what is caused by my environment and largely out of my control I have a tendency to blame the latter. But perhaps thats my way of avoiding action

Whilst dissatisfaction is always helpful to spur action, my current feel is too overwhelming, probably given I don't (or at least have this perception) have the resources to create the kind of life that would satisfy me.