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I find it utterly painful to live without creating. It's the greatest struggle I have. And yet, I find myself completely unable. I think I place to much pressure on myself, and therefore fear trying anything lest it isn't a masterpiece.

I know I can help fix this issue with a routine slot of time where I can slowly chip away at something. Not for any grand purpose. Just to see progress. But even this I have failed at. I now think it might be linked to my immense distractibility, my choice paralysis, and ...

most importantly, my lack of community. Perhaps if I had truly close relationships with others that had similar drives and interests, that would lead to some kind of accountability and greater support when I slip. I don't know. Everything I try seems to fail.