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  1. Retweeted
    1 Dec 2016
  2. Retweeted
    6 Aug 2016

    When they interrupt you while you're telling them what time it is.

  3. 25 Jun 2016

    I just published “Growth & Learning: Part 1”

  4. 24 Jun 2016

    Brexit is bridiotic

  5. 15 Apr 2016
    This Tweet is unavailable.
  6. 2 Dec 2015
  7. 1 Dec 2015

    The only thing about silence is you. Enjoy your verbal repose.

  8. 30 Nov 2015

    Please stop telling me how many countries you've been to. It's so .

  9. 24 Nov 2015

    Goober: It's like Uber but all the drivers are really awkward

  10. 24 Nov 2015

    Anyone sticking around for Thanksgiving?

  11. 1 Nov 2015

    The one night a year you can get away with acting like the child you are

  12. 10 Oct 2015

    I'm into fitness. Fitness whole 🍕 in my mouth.

  13. 7 Oct 2015
  14. 4 Oct 2015

    Alright people I need some halloween costume ideas, ASAP

  15. 3 Oct 2015

    Anyone going to the Bernie sanders thing later?

  16. 27 Sep 2015

    As a kid I didn't have an imaginary friend. I had an imaginary audience and I was the funniest, wittiest guy they knew.

  17. 19 Sep 2015

    I can't stop looking at shoes online 👞👟

  18. 16 Sep 2015
  19. 15 Sep 2015
  20. 24 Aug 2015

    A woman walks into a bar and orders an innuendo. The bartender, uh... gives it to her.

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