An actual photo of me trying to read the news every morning.
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Coraline Jones
@coralinexmaria
writer etc ❂ MSJ ❂ hostess ❂ britney stan ❂ petty opinions are *~*my own*~*
Chicago, ILJoined March 2010
Coraline Jones🌹🚀’s Tweets
the bluecheck brain needs to be studied bc every day i log onto this app and see them all collectively going hard for a new, baffling cause. today it's "murder is fine if the other person was being loud" and truly i cannot wait to see what it will be tomorrow
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one day my bluesky invite will come and i’ll leave all you fuckers in the dust!!!! one day!!!!!
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we as a species honestly deserve every terrible thing that's coming for us in the next hundred years. the absolute dumbest possible timeline.
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this is absolutely the grimmest thing i have ever heard jesus fucking christ
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I'm working on an unbiased article on dogs for the New York Times. I'm not looking to speak to dog owners or veterinarians at this time but if you hate dogs and think dogs are controlling your mind and that they should all be launched into the sun I would like to hear from you
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Today marks the second time I’ve been hit by an e-scooter/bike. And I feel better than ever
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just found out that tom schwartz is from woodbury and suddenly it all makes sense
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tweeting three times in 5 minutes just to feel alive, i guess u could say i'm Doing Well 😊
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OK FINE i will start watching succession so i have something to talk about on this app other than the pathetic state of my mental health... you're welcome i guess
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u mean to tell me there are people who go about their lives withOUT an ominous shadow of crippling anxiety looming over them every moment of every day????? in this economy??????
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hey national news agencies brandon johnson won u can stop sucking vallas’ dick and pushing the pUbLiC sAfeTy aka “chicago is a crime ridden death trap” narrative xoxo a bitch on the south side
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Breaking news: Brandon Johnson (D) is elected Chicago mayor.
He took a more progressive approach to crime than his opponent Paul Vallas. wapo.st/3nO0HkJ
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i was going thru it tbh
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gwyneth rises, donald falls. justice prevails today across these united states!!!!!!
THERE IS SIMPLY TOO MUCH HAPPENING ON THIS APP TODAY
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gwyneths jury is coming back in to read the verdict make sure your with friends and family!!!
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hell is alive and well in my incredibly cursed instagram reel suggestions
i love her mind
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but....caroline...babe...i thought the book was done and going to the printers tomorrow?
this is such a weird take like i am loath to defend katy perry but u literally have to be a giant pop star to be a reality tv music judge. see: britney on xfactor, jlo on american idol, ariana on the voice. icon status is a prerequisite. what's not clicking??
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we as a society failed her, because how did she go from being the biggest pop star on the planet to an American Idol judge
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if only all nepo babies were as chaotic as her... protect this tiny coppola at all costs!!!
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this tiktok of sofia coppola’s daughter… this means so much to me
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Oh yea I watched the Oscar’s (my cousin live-texted me Jimmy Kimmel’s set unsolicited for some reason)
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twitter: we're taking away key security features for everyone who isn't dumb enough to pay for this app. please click this link to make this change.
also twitter:
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what does "PJ" even stand for in a pajama context like "pa" and "jama" aren't two separate words?!?!? i understand the concept but it's frankly stupid.
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I always tell the girls never take it seriously, if you never take it seriously you never get hurt, if you never get hurt you always have fun, and if you ever get lonely just go to your favorite podcast app and visit your friends.
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don’t call or text i just found out a pitbull i follow on instagram has died and i will be observing 7 days of mourning… my customary recognition for all internet dogs 😔
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y’all better stop treating your man like trash otherwise I’ll scuttle out of the shadows of your house at night and crawl on your ceiling, drooling over your bed until you grow so frightened that you wet the bed every night 💅🫦
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I am simply losing my fucking MIND at this commercial black eyed peas are currently in a lawsuit over
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i started mixing cold brew with soda water & unfortunately it’s now my entire personality. i dream about coffee sodas. i feel both hydrated & incredibly caffeinated. my friends beg me to stop texting them abt coffee sodas but i won’t rest until the coffee soda is a household name
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STOP SHOOTING DOWN THE UFO’s AND LET AMY ADAMS TALK TO THEM
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