This thread perfectly summarizes a particularly traumatic decades-long experience that I also had. The moment you break is so utterly terrifying. But you will break, because nobody can keep that up.https://twitter.com/commaficionado/status/1180191367131209729 …
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That’s the true self I mean. The low-level signals your body is screaming at you that you were taught to ignore.
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Relatedly, have you heard of polyvagal theory? I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on how it relates to autism.
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