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@coommedy

are you ready for sarcastic tweets??

El Paso
Vrijeme pridruživanja: lipanj 2011.

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  1. 30. ruj 2018.

    Why are nipples so important like you could have as much boob out as you want but as soon as there's nipple involved all hell breaks loose.

    Poništi
  2. 30. ruj 2018.

    i might seem really shy and quiet but when u get to know me im like an energizer bunny on crack

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  3. 30. ruj 2018.

    you know your childhood is over when you fall asleep on the sofa and when you wake up you're still on the sofa

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  4. 30. ruj 2018.

    you're so hoti whispered as i took my plate of food out of the microwave

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  5. 30. ruj 2018.

    iOS 7 more like iOS 7% battery left

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  6. 30. ruj 2018.

    I may look calm, but in my head I've already killed you 3 times, AND hid the body.

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  7. 30. ruj 2018.

    do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i've wondered my whole life

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  8. 30. ruj 2018.

    April fools day is a day when u shouldn't believe what you hear or trust anyone... so its basically a normal day

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  9. 30. ruj 2018.

    i have lost all motivation i only care about christmas

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  10. 30. ruj 2018.

    *dies in flappy bird**throws phone across ocean**drops out of school**kicks a dog**becomes meth addict**burns house down**dies*

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  11. 30. ruj 2018.
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  12. 29. ruj 2018.

    I really worry about which selfie my family would put on the news if I ever went missing.

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  13. 29. ruj 2018.

    I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DON'T TEXT ME BACK JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH IT'S JUST SO GREAT

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  14. 29. ruj 2018.

    My attitude today is fuck it, and fuck you.

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  15. 29. ruj 2018.

    every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day but every year you pass your death day and have no clue

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  16. 29. ruj 2018.

    tbh im probably single because I never forwarded those chain messages in 2008

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  17. 29. ruj 2018.

    A baby's laughter is one of the most beautiful sounds you will ever hear. Unless it's 3am. And you're home alone. And you don't have a baby

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  18. 29. ruj 2018.

    Me: For Christmas I want a dragonSanta: Be realisticMe: Ok I want my life togetherSanta: What color do you want your dragon

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  19. 29. ruj 2018.

    Do I care

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  20. 29. ruj 2018.

    R.I.P to all the relationships that are about to be destroyed by GTA V.

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