Conan O'BrienVerified account

@ConanOBrien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.

Los Angeles
teamcoco.com
Joined February 2010
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  1. 17 hours ago

    Did you know "La Croix" is actually French for "The Croix"

    201 replies 362 retweets 6,393 likes
    Undo
  2. Feb 28

    Adam Sandler and Judd Apatow confront me about my drinking just before we perform .

    , and
    117 replies 150 retweets 4,758 likes
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  3. Feb 28

    I’m pretty sure my iPhone is spying on me because I’m starting to get a lot of ads for water resistant body pillows.

    82 replies 119 retweets 2,666 likes
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  4. Feb 27

    I can't get over the fact that, no matter how hard I try, this particular tweet is going absolutely nowhere.

    165 replies 247 retweets 3,891 likes
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  5. Retweeted
    Feb 25

    Get to know and , 's most musical Production Assistants.

    23 replies 102 retweets 721 likes
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  6. Feb 26

    “Most quotes attributed to Mark Twain were actually said by someone else” - Mark Twain

    124 replies 618 retweets 6,513 likes
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  7. Feb 25

    Sad to see Buttigieg’s momentum fading before I ever really learned how to spell his name.

    134 replies 243 retweets 4,766 likes
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  8. Feb 24

    . and I bonded over our shocking whiteness and half-assed careers.

    101 replies 74 retweets 2,313 likes
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  9. Feb 23

    Great candy bar: Charleston Chew. Not as great: Myrtle Beach Masticator.

    140 replies 212 retweets 3,765 likes
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  10. Feb 22

    You’ve been married a long time when the trail of rose petals she left you goes to the lawn mower

    98 replies 350 retweets 6,940 likes
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  11. Feb 21

    Does anyone with false teeth refer to them as their Tongue's Cool New Stepdad?

    126 replies 100 retweets 1,833 likes
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  12. Feb 20

    Just bought a white noise machine which only plays sounds of Joe Biden reading TV guide recaps of Succession.

    81 replies 131 retweets 2,878 likes
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  13. Feb 19

    I behaved like an ass at The .

    102 replies 84 retweets 1,963 likes
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  14. Feb 19

    Forget cars, is anyone working on a self-driving government?

    209 replies 726 retweets 7,689 likes
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  15. Feb 18

    British comics like love my humor.

    66 replies 117 retweets 3,057 likes
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  16. Feb 18

    DC just announced the title for their next sequel, "Joker: Steeper Stairs"

    84 replies 213 retweets 3,232 likes
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  17. Feb 18

    Taken moments before I was asked to leave the British Museum.

    125 replies 169 retweets 5,906 likes
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  18. Feb 17

    This fancy London hotel won't change me.

    477 replies 582 retweets 18,449 likes
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  19. Feb 17

    Today, I bashed people on Twitter, ate junk food and went to a strip club. How did you celebrate “President’s Day”?

    733 replies 1,503 retweets 22,586 likes
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  20. Feb 17

    This week on my podcast, and I discussed serious issues like insecurity, decay, and bundt cakes.

    48 replies 60 retweets 1,365 likes
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