Conan O'BrienVerified account

@ConanOBrien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.

Los Angeles
teamcoco.com
Joined February 2010
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  1. 19 hours ago

    Kate Hudson is my neighbor, which means she's had the misfortune of seeing me in a very tight bike outfit. Hear her horrifying tale @

    52 replies 31 retweets 1,659 likes
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  2. Mar 21

    Once again, I find myself largely unaffected by the NFL’s free agency period.

    184 replies 313 retweets 8,735 likes
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  3. Mar 20

    You never hear about Trivia Mornings.

    181 replies 135 retweets 3,700 likes
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  4. Mar 19

    I surprised a raccoon in my garage this morning, and now he's telling his friends he made a human run into a wall.

    200 replies 546 retweets 12,545 likes
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  5. Mar 18

    Instead of saying "The days are getting longer," I like to walk around with a candle and cry, "NIGHT!...she withers...."

    173 replies 891 retweets 14,617 likes
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  6. Mar 16

    A lot of people complain about capitalism, but without capitalism, how could I have been threatened at knifepoint by a Times Square Elmo?

    230 replies 608 retweets 11,128 likes
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  7. Mar 15

    Within 10 minutes of our conversation, changed the title of my podcast and named ’s future children. Listen now @

    56 replies 44 retweets 1,058 likes
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  8. Mar 14

    President Biden just announced, by the end of 2022 every American adult who wants one will have access to a PlayStation 5.

    769 replies 3,652 retweets 44,574 likes
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  9. Mar 13

    CVS should carry a vaccine that protects against long receipts! Am I right people? Hello?

    488 replies 674 retweets 17,398 likes
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  10. Mar 12

    Birds are in for a rude awakening in 4 months when we all stop filling our feeders.

    194 replies 322 retweets 8,343 likes
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  11. Mar 11

    I agree that grocery store workers should get vaccinated before talk show hosts (though there are currently 3,000 more talk show hosts).

    145 replies 225 retweets 7,654 likes
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  12. Mar 10

    I'm starting to worry the Tom Cruise that comes over and hangs out with me in the garage is a deepfake.

    282 replies 419 retweets 13,148 likes
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  13. Mar 9

    Me: Can you explain non-fungible tokens to me? Son: Dad, my bedtime is at 11:00. Me: It's 8 in the morning. Son: I know.

    159 replies 359 retweets 7,893 likes
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  14. Mar 8

    Happy to all of the incredible women of CONAN.

    60 replies 106 retweets 2,267 likes
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  15. Mar 8

    Reminisced with "Office Ladies" and about that time I dropped from the Dunder Mifflin ceiling onto Dwight's desk. Listen now @

    39 replies 77 retweets 2,343 likes
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  16. Mar 7

    When it comes to the Royal Family, I always root for the woman who married the ginger.

    340 replies 1,788 retweets 38,810 likes
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  17. Mar 6

    It’s been 8 months. Time to buy herbal tea again and remember I don’t like it.

    179 replies 377 retweets 9,386 likes
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  18. Mar 5

    It always bothered me that the band Earth, Wind and Fire never included the fourth element, Magnesium.

    343 replies 425 retweets 8,817 likes
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  19. Mar 4

    I hope CGI Luke Skywalker shows up at the end of my career.

    290 replies 858 retweets 16,042 likes
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  20. Mar 3

    Pokémon cards are cool again. Low-rise jeans are back. There's an Olsen sister on television– WHAT YEAR IS IT SOMEONE HELP ME.

    361 replies 1,443 retweets 19,422 likes
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