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commaficionado's profile
Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby
Pete Wharmby
@commaficionado

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Pete Wharmby

@commaficionado

Autistic writer, speaker, parent, teacher. He/his. All views my own - I do not speak for all autistic people. Email me at Pete.wharmby@outlook.com

South West, England
patreon.com/pwharmbyautism
Joined June 2009

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    1. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      4. Don't assume we aren't capable of thought and feeling if we're non-verbal. Don't assume we're incapable of communicating in other ways either. #autism

      4 replies 57 retweets 829 likes
      Show this thread
    2. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      5. Don't expect #autistic children to 'grow out of' being autistic. They just won't. That doesn't happen.

      4 replies 61 retweets 899 likes
      Show this thread
    3. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      6. Don't force us to wear particular clothing if we have a visceral negative reaction to it - it's texture or fit might be causing *significant* discomfort and unhappiness. #autism

      7 replies 45 retweets 872 likes
      Show this thread
    4. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      7. Don't be upset if we don't wish to socialise with you, as we often have considerable limits in our capacity. However do ask as generally it's nice to get the opportunity. #autism

      3 replies 74 retweets 887 likes
      Show this thread
    5. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      8. Check in on #autistic people from time to time. Don't be upset if they don't respond quickly - all socialising is stressful and many of us are very forgetful and disorganised!

      4 replies 60 retweets 887 likes
      Show this thread
    6. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      9. Don't use banter or negative insulting humour to autistic people, unless you know they're OK with it from you specifically. There are maybe four people on earth I can be jokingly insulted by without panicking that they mean it. #autism

      10 replies 90 retweets 1,012 likes
      Show this thread
    7. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      10. Remember all autistic people have a very different experience of autism - it's a huge, varied grab bag of traits so any list like this has to be taken carefully. #autism

      5 replies 64 retweets 856 likes
      Show this thread
    8. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      11. Don't force us to make phone calls. Phone phobia is common for many #autistic people and it can be *very* serious. If there's an alternative let us use if without judgement.

      17 replies 105 retweets 1,142 likes
      Show this thread
    9. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      12. Don't force eye contact. Many #autistic people find eye contact way too intimate and emotionally draining so they're not gonna want to do it with their boss or a stranger. We are still listening.

      4 replies 50 retweets 863 likes
      Show this thread
    10. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      13. Let us stim! These movements, sounds of activities are great for regulating our stress levels and are absolutely vital. Unless we're hurting ourselves or others, let us be. #autism

      5 replies 71 retweets 843 likes
      Show this thread
      Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

      14. Talk to us and listen to us about our special interests. It may be a bit of an info dump but believe me, be a safe listener and we'll appreciate it so so much. #autism

      6:32 AM - 16 Jan 2021
      • 59 Retweets
      • 838 Likes
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      6 replies 59 retweets 838 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          15. Let #autistic people play with their toys however they want.

          3 replies 40 retweets 742 likes
          Show this thread
        3. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          16. If an #autistic person forgets something, don't be too harsh on us please. It's hard to remember stuff when just surviving is tricky.

          1 reply 51 retweets 766 likes
          Show this thread
        4. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          17. Remember that many #autistic people have comorbid conditions - from depression to intellectual disabilities. Be sensitive and assume nothing.

          4 replies 56 retweets 781 likes
          Show this thread
        5. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          18. Don't infantalise #autistic people - we're not big kids or babies, we are adults with agency and minds of our own.

          3 replies 71 retweets 810 likes
          Show this thread
        6. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          19. Don't spread misinformation about autism and call it out when you see it - eg #autistic people having no empathy and so on.

          3 replies 47 retweets 787 likes
          Show this thread
        7. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          20. Pay attention to our pronouns and language. Many, many #autistic people are in some ways non-binary, trans, queer or asexual, or more. Again, assume nothing and *listen*.

          3 replies 53 retweets 774 likes
          Show this thread
        8. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          21. Don't assume we're 'high functioning'. That language can go in the bin. We may well be good at some stuff but behind the scenes you don't know how difficult we find life.

          8 replies 105 retweets 962 likes
          Show this thread
        9. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          22. Don't treat 'autism' or 'autistic' as if it's a dirty word, avoiding it with euphemism. It's really fucking annoying.

          2 replies 64 retweets 828 likes
          Show this thread
        10. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          23. Give opportunities to #autistic people, if you're in the position to. We're frequently in the creative arts thanks to our brains, and being given chances can change everything.

          2 replies 54 retweets 741 likes
          Show this thread
        11. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          24. If you want #autistic people to do stuff for you, pay us as you would non-autistic people.

          1 reply 62 retweets 762 likes
          Show this thread
        12. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          25. Don't force an #autistic person into a situation they're uncomfortable with unless you know they'd rather you help push them. You have no idea how scared we may be.

          1 reply 48 retweets 731 likes
          Show this thread
        13. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          26. Let #autistic people follow their routine as much as you possibly can. It helps lots of us immeasurably most of the time and doesn't usually cost anything.

          2 replies 44 retweets 736 likes
          Show this thread
        14. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          27. If an #autistic person has a meltdown or shutdown, give them space and don't judge them. Be kind. Let them rest afterwards.

          4 replies 53 retweets 755 likes
          Show this thread
        15. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          28. Don't tell anyone who identifies as #autistic that they're not autistic. First, you have no idea, second, your objection is probably based on incorrect stereotypes. Third, it's rude.

          5 replies 92 retweets 921 likes
          Show this thread
        16. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          29. Give us processing time to answer when you ask us things. Even if it seems an easy question.

          7 replies 64 retweets 828 likes
          Show this thread
        17. Pete Wharmby‏ @commaficionado Jan 16

          30. Above all, follow loads of #autistic accounts on here, Facebook, YouTube etc and see what they have to say.

          12 replies 43 retweets 727 likes
          Show this thread
        18. End of conversation

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