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codybondarchuk's profile
Cody Bondarchuk
Cody Bondarchuk
Cody Bondarchuk
@codybondarchuk

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Cody Bondarchuk

@codybondarchuk

Current political boy, former @ualbertaSU boy. Professional karaoker. Basement drag queen. Rosemary Barton stan account.

Edmonton, Alberta
Joined September 2011

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    1. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      9. Life on the Fast Lane No opening sequence Bart & Lisa are making Marge breakfast in bed for her birthday (first of the series!) Homer forgot, natch. He runs to the mall. In honour of @simpsonspod, this set of tweets is brought to you by the Int’l House of Answering Machines,

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    2. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      The Jerky Hut, The Ear Piercery, The Carmel Corn Warehouse, & Girdles N’ Such. Also Marge is 34, meaning she had Bart at the same age my mom had me 😍 Anyway they’re at the Singing Sirloin where waiters sing for birthdays, anniversaries, funerals, whatever you need.

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    3. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Homer selfishly gets Marge a bowling ball despite her not being a bowler (and he is one). She calls his bluff & takes up bowling. Holy shit this is it, it’s the Jacques episode. Marge hides that she is married. She also gets her first strike four throws in, alright.

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    4. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Brunch: it’s not quite breakfast, it’s not quite lunch, it comes with a slice of cantaloupe, you don’t get completely what you would at breakfast but you get a good meal. Marge is now out w/ Jacques. She admits she’s married. First appearance of Helen Lovejoy, as gossipy as ever

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    5. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      YET ANOTHER dream sequence, this time of Marge at Jacques’ apartment. She thinks you get trophies for lovemaking, I’m shook. Also Marge with pink hair is fabulous. Homer knows something is up and is sad. Thinks complimenting her sandwich-making skills will save the marriage 🙄

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    6. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Honestly, Jacques is kind of hot, don’t @ me. And MARGE PICKS HOMER! Was there ever any doubt? Yes, but still, a victory for love.

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    7. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      10. Homer’s Night Out Blackboard: I will not call my teacher “hot cakes” (smh) Couch: falls apart, definitely reusing stuff early in the game I refuse to believe that Homer is 239 pounds. Bart smashes piggy bank (it’s taped together from when Homer went looking for beer money)

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    8. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      It’s six months later. Homer’s assistant is now his supervisor, Bart’s spy camera has come in the mail. Homer is now at a bachelor party, so masc. First appearance of Lenny & Carl, very different voices from what they have now. And Princess Cashmere has arrived!

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    9. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Bart takes a photo of Homer & the dancer (they’re on the restauarant side of the hotel, bachelor party is in the lounge). Bart develops the photo at school. First appaearance of a fully-developed Milhouse. Also how do elementary-aged kids have access to a scanner/printer?

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    10. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Anyway, the photo spreads like wildfire. Homer comes home to an apocalypse 💃🏼 Ends up sleeping @ Barney’s garbage apartment. I think Marge is overreacting, she almost CHEATED and he still doesn’t know. It was just a picture! At a bachelor party! #JusticeforHomer

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      Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

      Apparently, 50% of power users are women, who knew. Burns admits he’s an incel. Marge makes a good point about Homer treating women like objects. Looks around for the dancer, finds her at the Sapphire Lounge to show Bart she’s a person with goals, ambitions, personality, etc.

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        2. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          Homer seems to learn nothing, then makes an empowering speech about strong women 💪🏻💄 The men all go home to their wives/mothers, balance is restored. Hooray!

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        3. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          11. The Crepes of Wrath Blackboard: Garlic gum is not funny Couch: not a new one Honestly, part of me didn’t think I’d make it past ten episodes, but here we are. Homer throws out his back tripping on Bart’s toys down the stairs. Left on floor with pets for hours.

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        4. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          First appearance of Agnes Skinner. Bart drops a cherry bomb down the toilet, causes significant infrastructure damage. Skinner suggests deporting Bart, at least temporarily, to France #BuildtheWall somehow, this is also a free trip if the Simpsons take in an exchange student too

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        5. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          SUBTITLES, real French? Also Bart is essentially in the slave trade now, on a rundown winery. Fitting punishment for Bart’s mischief, but bad for actual exchange students. Also this Albanian kid is so cool, and 👏🏻 CALLS 👏🏻 OUT 👏🏻 INCOME 👏🏻 INEQUALITY 👏🏻 #GetWoke

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        6. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          Wait a sec, the Albanian kid said “eeeexcellent” before Burns ever did. Holy shit, he’s a spy. Letter from Marge to Bart: “We think Maggie may say her first word any day now” lol. This is weird that they’re calling them “adoptive parents” and the Sparrow is calling Homer “father”

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        7. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 22 Dec 2017

          Bart is forced to drink a fun wine-antifreeze combo. Doesn’t even faze him. He knows French now, I could never pick it up, maybe the secret is antifreeze. Police come, both stories wrap up way too quickly, Bart brings home a small guillotine for the family as a souvenir 🇫🇷 🇦🇱

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        8. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          12. Krusty Gets Busted Chalkboard: They are laughing at me, not with me (that’s just cruel) Couch: not new I’m back to continue this mess and ruin your timelines! Opens with Krusty getting kids to pledge that they’ll kill themselves if his show gets cancelled. Dark.

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        9. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Shoots Sideshow Bob out of a cannon for the umpteenth time — I’m already on Team Bob. First appearance of Itchy & Scratchy opening song. Also first appearance of self-referential humour, from Lisa: “if cartoons were for adults, they’d put them on in primetime”

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        10. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          First appearance of Patty & Selma (though we heard their voices in past episodes). Anyway, Krusty (or, spoiler: someone who looks like him) robs the Kwik-E-Mart. Odd that a new show would already do a mistaken identity episode when we don’t know their looks/voices well enough yet

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        11. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Homer points out Krusty in a police line-up (“bailiff, send in the clowns”). News intro name-drops Kent Brockman, still no sight of him. Bart’s heart is broken seeing Krusty get arrested. And now the first appearance of Brockman!! With lots of circus and clown puns.

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        12. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Krusty the Clown with no makeup is both confusing and daddy af. I also love that everyone is talking about his crime like it’s some genius plot — it was an armed robbery of a convenience store, not Oceans 11. They even make Krusty admit he can’t read.

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        13. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Sideshow Bob’s voice is ICONIC but how weird must it have been to hear that solemn dignity from a shirtless carnie for the first time. Meanwhile Lisa out here Nancy Drewing to exonerate Krusty and stop Bob’s sophisticated kids show that the network is fine with for some reason

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        14. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          We see Sideshow Bob act evil before the reveal, forgot about that. Omg and Bob interviews Bart on his show, I’m glad I’m doing this tweet mess just to remember this plot line. Bart calls him out on live TV, Bob says a Scooby-Doo line and the vengeance begins.

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        15. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          13. Some Enchanted Evening 💫💫SEASON ONE FINALE💫💫 Chalkboard: I will not yell “fire” in a crowded classroom Couch: everyone fits and there is no joke Opens on Bill Pye (later Arnie Pye)’s first appearance. Marge sad family rushed to school/work without appreciating her 😥

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        16. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Love than Dr. Marvin Monroe owns both 555-LOVE & 555-PAIN, & has a radio talk show. Marge calls in. Gets empowered to stand up to Homer. Homer comes home w/ a wet rose & chocolates & all is forgiven, somehow. Also 2 phone pranks on Moe this ep: “Al Coholic” & “Oliver Clothesoff”

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        17. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Marge gets a babysitter for the kids so she and Homer can bone in a motel near the highway. Mrs. Botz is here and she means business. Marge is at dinner and is wearing the most ICONIC dress. Marge Simpson, style icon 1990-2017 and beyond.pic.twitter.com/ezG8nHIlcG

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        18. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Oh also Mrs. Botz is a thief who ties up Bart & Lisa to steal their stuff. And Homer & Marge’s motel has a 9am check out. I don’t know which is more criminal. Maggie saves the day, the first of many. Homer lets the Babysitter Bandit get away. “Homer Simpson: Local Boob”

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        19. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          And that’s Season 1! Going right into season 2 with 14. Bart Gets An F Newly drawn opening sequence, nice. Chalkboard: I will not encourage others to fly. Couch falls through the floor, some new material for S2 Martin does a book presentation on Hemingway because he’s a nerd

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        20. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Bart procrastinates instead of studying for a test (cc my friends who are still students eg @NavneetGidda) Homer encourages this, he better not be mad when Bart fails. Martin’s a good guy & tells Bart that Sherri & Terri tricked him, I take back what I said about him being a nerd

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        21. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Bart fakes illness, fails the test the next day. Dr Pryor is back and holds a grudge against Bart. The school plans on holding Bart back a grade. Also Martin throws a ball like I do. Sports! Martin thinks he’s popular 😂 Bart and him are trading skills: studiousness for coolness

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        22. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Martin goes off the rails and is too cool to help Bart study now. Bart prays to God to postpone the test. First evidence of God in this universe: it actually snows and Bart gets his snow day. Which I don’t think I’ve ever had. Because in Canada we aren’t wimps.

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        23. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Lisa guilts Bart into studying when he wanted to play during the snow day. Sideshow Bob is casually in the crowd of snow-lovers when he’s supposed to be in jail ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also Ben Franklin had a toboggan that said “Don’t Sled on Me” with a 🐍 Bart studies so hard & still fails

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        24. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Mrs Krabapple has a moment of kindness and bumps Bart’s test up to a D-, which in any other universe would still make him repeat the fourth grade because it was only one test and he’d have to do at least that well in all future tests.

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        25. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          15. Simpson & Delilah Board: Tar is not a plaything Couch: they do the Walk Like an Egyptian dance in front of the couch. I guess humour was different in the early 90s. Homer thinks Hitler, North Dakota is a place. He then goes to find hair growth tonic but it’s too expensive

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        26. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Lenny convinces Homer to claim Dimoxinil, though it’s not covered, under their health plan. $1000 is a lot tbh. Also a comment that shows obvious ignorance of the difference between healthcare and WCB. Homer’s hair is luscious and an impossible amount of growth overnight.

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        27. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Homer gets promoted for no reason, proving once again the existence of the patriarchy. He hires Carl as his assistant, more patriarchy. Carl tries to make him a better man, for reasons that escape me. Why paint an old house when you could just go and buy another one?

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        28. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          It somehow works, Homer is distinguished now, and he gets a key to the weirdly lavish Executive Bathroom. I hope companies don’t have those irl. Smithers closes in on the fraud, Carl takes the fall, gets fired, and pays back the $1000. Why is he so obsessed with protecting Homer?

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        29. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          Bart uses the hair tonic to try and grow a beard, and Homer does what I think is the first strangle of the series. Tonic spills all over the floor, Homer goes bald. Carl gets creepier. But tells Homer it was his own greatness, not the hair, that made him. Carl also KISSES HIM.

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        30. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          I am here for a gay character in 1990 to be quite honest. Anyway, Homer has great ideas but people don’t pay attention to him at the morning meeting because he’s bald again. Mr. Burns also says he is only 81, which is at least a 20 year lie. Homer gets demoted but it’s fine.

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        31. Cody Bondarchuk‏ @codybondarchuk 23 Dec 2017

          16. Treehouse of Horror FINALLY 👻👻👻👻👻 Opens on Marge in front of a curtained stage, as it will for the next 4 years. Of course, this was originally called The Simpsons Halloween Special, and the ToH name comes from this ep where Bart tells spooky stories in their treehouse

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